Red, White, and Achoo! Read online

“Sam, I can’t go on,” she told the stage manager. “I’m too nervous. I don’t remember any of my lines.”

  Sam sighed. “Stop cracking jokes,” he told Katie. “You’re Millard Fillmore. You don’t have any lines. Only the really famous presidents have lines.”

  And with that, the music started. It was time for the show to begin. There was no way Katie was getting out of this now.

  She took a deep breath. Come on. You can do it, she told herself. Just follow the other actors. You don’t have to say anything.

  In the distance, Katie could hear the orchestra playing. It was that song they played whenever the president walked into a room.

  She’d heard it on TV. It was called “Hail to the Chief.”

  One by one, the actors playing the presidents began to parade down the aisle of the Cherrydale Arena—and that included Katie.

  It didn’t take long for all the actors to reach the stage. Katie stood there in her place, right between Zachary Taylor and Franklin Pierce.

  This isn’t so bad, she thought to herself. I’ll just stand here and keep quiet.

  But it wasn’t going to be that easy. At just that moment, a new song started. And the actors all began to do a dance.

  Katie tried to follow, but it was hard. She turned right, when the others turned left. She raised her hands, when the others spread them wide apart.

  It’s a good thing I’m not in the front row, Katie thought to herself. Maybe no one can see me.

  The audience might not have been able to see her, but the other dancers sure could.

  “What is wrong with you, Phil?” the actor playing Franklin Pierce hissed at her. “Get it together, will ya?”

  “I’m trying,” Katie told him. She sounded more like a scared fourth-grade girl than a grown man.

  Just then, the man playing George Washington took his place in the spotlight. He smiled at the audience, and began to sing a solo.

  Whew! Katie was off the hook—at least for a little while.

  “I’m the father of our country, George Washington. When it comes to fighting for liberty, I’m the one. I led our forces against the British. Although my men weren’t trained and our horses were skittish. And when at last the war was done, I became president number one.”

  As the audience cheered for George Washington, the music started up. Once again, the presidents began a dance routine. Katie struggled to keep up, but she was always a few steps behind. And it only got worse when the presidents linked arms, two by two, and began to whirl each other around. Katie grabbed the Franklin Pierce actor’s hand. She kicked out with her left foot and let her free arm fly out to her side like an airplane wing.

  Katie was trying her best to copy what everyone else was doing. With any luck, the dance routine would end soon. Then suddenly she felt her free hand hit something . . .

  Actually, her hand had hit somebody!

  She turned around. Oh no! She’d punched the Abraham Lincoln actor in the face. He stood there in his beard with his nose bleeding all over the place.

  “Ouch!” he cried. He held a hankie over his nose. “I’m supposed to speak next. I can’t.”

  He sounded just like Katie did when she had a cold.

  “I’m so sor—” she whispered. Then she felt a hot light beaming on her face.

  The music kept playing. Abraham Lincoln kept bleeding. And the crowd kept staring at the stage, waiting for something to happen.

  “Sing something . . .” the Zachary Taylor actor whispered to her. “Anything.”

  Katie froze with fear. This was soooonot good.

  Chapter 9

  Katie stood onstage staring at all the people staring at her. She could see George and Suzanne and Mr. G. in the audience. Then, suddenly, Katie got one of her great ideas! There wasa presidential song she knew. It was about Millard Fillmore. She’d written it for her class.

  Katie smiled brightly. She opened her mouth to sing.

  And then she stopped. Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea after all. Katie couldn’tsing the Millard Fillmore song that her class had already heard. They would wonder how the actor onstage knew Katie’s song.

  There were the other verses to her Millard Fillmore rap. The ones she hadn’t had time to read to her class. If Katie could just sing those words instead of rapping them, then . . .

  Katie cleared her throat and began. “I’m the thirteenth president, Millard Fillmore. My mama and daddy were very poor. But I studied law and got real smart, til in politics I got my start. Then one day I became president, and to the White House I was sent. President’s a job with no rest, but I promise that I did my best. I had a really great foreign plan, and I started our friendship with Japan. I really did try very hard. Think of that when you hear Millard.”

  As Katie finished the last note of her song, the other presidents started dancing again. After all, the show had to go on.

  But not for Katie. She’d had enough of being in the spotlight. So as soon as no one was looking, Katie danced her way off the stage.

  “Hey, where are you going?” Sam the stage manager asked.

  Katie didn’t answer. She just ran offstage and down a dark hallway. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath. She was glad to be alone. Had she really just sung in front of the entire audience in the Cherrydale Arena?

  It was awfully cold in the hallway. And a little windy. Katie could feel a cool breeze blowing on the back of her neck.

  In seconds, the breeze picked up speed. Before Katie knew what was happening, that gentle breeze became a wild tornado. A tornado that was circling only around Katie.

  That could only mean one thing. The magic wind was back. And it was stronger than ever!

  The magic wind blew harder and harder. It was whirling and swirling so powerfully that Katie was sure she was going to blown away.

  And then it stopped. Just like that.

  The magic wind was gone. Katie Carew was back!

  And so was the actor who was playing Millard Fillmore. In fact, he was standing right beside Katie in the hallway. And boy, was he confused!

  “What am I doing backstage?” he asked Katie. “What are youdoing backstage? And who are you?”

  “I’m Katie Carew,” Katie answered. She figured that was the easiest question to answer. “I’m here with kids from my school.”

  “I’m Phil Stanza,” Phil said. “I play Millard Fillmore in the show.”

  “I know,” Katie said. “You’re dressed just like him.”

  “But why aren’t I onstage?” Phil asked Katie.

  “Well, I .. I mean, you sang your song, and you left . . .” Katie began. “I mean you exited,” Katie said, using the theater word.

  Phil looked at her strangely. “I sang?” he asked her. “I’m not supposed to do that.”

  “You were really good,” she assured him. “Everyone clapped.”

  Phil shook his head. “Man, the director is going to be so mad. I wasn’t supposed to have any lines or solos in this thing. But I kind of remember singing something about Japan, I think.”

  “You did,” Katie told him.

  Phil shook his head. “I’ll be lucky if I don’t get fired!” he exclaimed.

  “Fired?” Katie asked nervously. “But, you jumped right in. You sang a song. Everyone liked you.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Phil said sadly. “But I do know I’d better get back onstage for the finale. And you’d better get back to your seat. Your teacher will be wondering where you went.”

  Phil was right. Mr. G. was probably already a little worried about her.

  “Okay. Well, good . . .” Katie stopped herself. She knew you weren’t supposed to tell actors good luck before a show. That was bad luck. And after what happened in the show, Phil was going to need all the good luck he could find.

  So all Katie said was, “Good-bye.”

  Chapter 10

  “Where have you been?” Suzanne whispered as Katie sat down in her seat. “You missed the whole Parade of Presid
ents.”

  “There, um, well, there was a long line at the bathroom,” Katie whispered back.

  “Your president, Millard Fillmore, sang a funny song,” Andy told her. “Too bad you missed it.”

  Katie smiled. She hadn’t missed it at all. But of course she didn’t tell Suzanne and Andy that.

  “Shhh . . .” Mandy whispered to the girls. “Abraham Lincoln is making a speech.”

  Katie looked up at the stage. Sure enough, the actor playing President Lincoln was in the spotlight. His nose wasn’t bleeding anymore.

  “Four score and seven years ago,” he began, “our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation ...”

  Katie sat up tall. For a few minutes, she had been president of the United States. At least, in the Cherrydale Arena. And that was something to be proud of.

  When the show was over, the fourth grade left the theater. The kids were still really excited.

  “That was pretty awesome!” Kevin exclaimed. “Franklin Delano Roosevelt looked exactly like he did in the pictures in the books I read.”

  “The actors’ costumes were definitely better than ours were,” Emma W. said.

  “Yeah, at least their wigs stayed on,” Kadeem joked. He pointed to George and laughed.

  “I told you guys, I made my wig fall off on purpose,” George insisted. “I was just being funny.”

  “Yeah right,” Kadeem said.

  “Hey, look!” Suzanne exclaimed suddenly. “A reporter is talking into a camera over there.” She grabbed Katie by the arm. “Let’s go stand behind her and be on TV!”

  Before Katie knew what was happening, Suzanne had dragged her over to where the cameraman and news reporter were standing. Suzanne waved her arms up and down and smiled. Katie just stood there, looking embarrassed.

  “I’m here at the Cherrydale Arena, where the Presidents’ Day Extravaganza has just finished its first performance,” the reporter said into her microphone. “And while there were many wonderful moments in this show, there was one problem. There was a collision, and the actor playing Millard Fillmore suddenly found himself center stage. It was definitely strange. Especially since he’s a president nobody cares about.”

  Katie couldn’t believe her ears. The reporter was being so mean. And that made Katie mad. Really mad!

  “I care about him!” Katie blurted out suddenly. “And he cared about America!”

  The reporter stopped and turned around. “Excuse me?” she asked.

  Oops.Katie blushed. “I . . . um . . . well, I just meant Millard Fillmore tried really hard. I studied him for school. He started a library in the White House, and he helped animals, and he made friends with Japan . . .”

  The reporter sighed. “Are you saying you thought that the mess up in today’s show that forced Millard Fillmore front and center made the show better?”

  Katie frowned. That wasn’t what she’d been saying, exactly. Just then, Katie remembered something Mr. G. had said.

  “In the whole history of our country, only forty-four people have been president,” Katie said. “All of them have tried to make the US a better place. Even the ones who aren’t so popular.”

  The reporter stared at Katie for a minute. Then she looked back into the camera. “You know, you’re a very smart girl,” the reporter said.

  Katie smiled proudly into the camera.

  “I take it back, folks,” the reporter said. “Millard Fillmore actually helped make the show extra special.”

  Katie smiled. Hooray! Phil was a star. And so was Millard Fillmore.

  Chapter 11

  Rring. Rring.Katie’s phone rang early on Saturday morning.

  “Hello?” Katie said.

  “Hi, Katie, it’s me,” Suzanne said. “I called to find out what you’re doing today.”

  “I’m going to the mall with my mom,” Katie said. “She has to work at the bookstore.”

  “That’s perfect!” Suzanne exclaimed.

  “What is?” Katie asked.

  “You going to the mall,” Suzanne explained. “That’s the perfect place to celebrate.”

  Katie sighed. “Suzanne, I don’t really want to celebrate any weird holidays today,” she said.

  “Oh, this holiday isn’t weird,” Suzanne assured her. “In fact, you’re going to love it.”

  “Which holiday is it?” Katie asked.

  But Suzanne wasn’t telling. “Just meet me at the fountain at eleven o’clock,” she said.

  Katie checked the big clock as she walked toward the fountain in the middle of the Cherrydale Mall later that morning. It was just before eleven. She had no idea what Suzanne wanted to celebrate. She just hoped it wasn’t anything too embarrassing.

  A minute later, Suzanne arrived. She looked pretty normal. Katie breathed a sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t Weird Hat Day or Big Red Clown Nose Day or anything.

  “Are you ready?” Suzanne asked excitedly as Katie came over to her.

  “For what?” Katie asked.

  Suzanne pointed to Cinnamon’s Candy Shop. “For that!” she shouted excitedly.

  Katie looked over at the store. There was a big sign in the window. It said:

  HAPPY GUMDROP DAY!

  “Gumdrop Day?” Katie asked excitedly.

  Suzanne nodded. “Cinnamon’s giving out free gumdrops all day long!”

  “Well, what are we waiting for?” Katie asked.

  “Hi, there,” Cinnamon greeted the girls as they came in the front door. “Happy Gumdrop Day!”

  “Happy Gumdrop Day to you, too!” Katie replied.

  “Where are the free gumdrops?” Suzanne asked excitedly.

  Cinnamon pointed to a big, plastic barrel filled with colorful candies. “Right there,” she told Suzanne. “Help yourself.”

  “All right!” Suzanne said. She raced over and scooped a bunch of gumdrops into a bag with a plastic shovel.

  Katie followed and filled a small bag of gumdrops, too. Mmmm. They were delicious.

  “Now aren’t you glad I have my calendar, Katie?” she asked. “I called Cinnamon when I saw what day it is. And right away she said she was going to give away free gumdrops.”

  “I’m just glad it wasn’t Garlic Day,” Katie teased.

  Suzanne made a face. “I know what you mean,” she said.

  “You mean there actually is a Garlic Day?”

  “Oh yes. There’s Hooray for Turnips Day, too. And believe me, I don’t like eating garlic or turnips. But I guess I’ll have to when those holidays come around.”

  Katie giggled. No matter how crazy she got, Suzanne was always fun to be around.

  “Don’t ever change, Suzanne,” Katie told her best friend.

  “I won’t,” Suzanne assured her. “And don’t you ever change, either. Okay, Katie?”

  Katie didn’t answer. Instead, she popped another gumdrop in her mouth. After all, that was one promise she couldn’t make. At least not as long as the magic wind was still around.

  George Brown, GLASS CLOWN

  Here is the first chapter of the

  first book in a brand-new series that

  stars Katie Kazoo’s pal George.

  Chapter 1

  Yo, George,

  Never thought I’d say this, but I think it stinks that you won’t be going to our school anymore. Now I’ll be the only one in class 4A telling jokes, and my jokes always sounded better next to yours.

  At least at your new school, you can be the funny guy.

  Your pal,

  Kadeem

  George lay on his bed and stared at Kadeem’s page in the Good-bye Book the kids at his old school had made for him. All the fourth-graders had written something. But Kadeem’s was the one that made George the saddest and the maddest. Sad because now he had no friends to tell jokes to. And mad because Kadeem made it sound like his jokes were funnier than George’s. And that wasn’t true. No way!

  George reread what Kevin, his best friend, had written. At least Kevin usedto be George’s best f
riend. It was pretty hard to stay best friends with someone who lived far away.

  George,

  I was just thinking about the time in third grade when you put the fake spider on Mrs. Derkman’s chair in the cafeteria. I never heard anyone scream so loud. I laughed so hard, milk came out of my nose.

  Boy, will I miss you,

  Kevin

  George started to laugh. That hadbeen a good one. No one was more afraid of bugs than mean Mrs. Jerkman. (That was what George had always called his strict third-grade teacher—at least behind her back.) Freaking her out was always fun.

  George turned the page in his Good-bye Book. The next note was from Suzanne Lock.

  George,

  Good-bye.

  Suzanne

  That cheered George up. He thought it was really, really funny. Suzanne hadn’t wanted to write in his Good-bye Book. Her teacher had made her do it. Not that George blamed Suzanne. It wasn’t like they’d ever been friends or anything.

  But the note on the page next to Suzanne’s was from one of George’s really good friends.

  Dear George,

  I’m really going to miss you. You made me laugh—a lot. I think you are really brave. I’d be scared to move to a new town. But you don’t seem scared at all. I know you will have a lot of friends in Beaver Brook.

  Your friend,

  Katie Kazoo

  PS—Thanks for the way-cool nickname.

  George remembered how he had given Katie that name. He’d decided that her last name, Carew, sounded like a kazoo. And the name had stuck.

  Katie was a really good friend. And she was pretty smart. But she was also really wrong about George. He wasscared to be living in a new town and starting at a new school today.

  George had a lot of practice being the new kid. His dad was in the army and his family moved around a lot. But it was never easy. After spending two whole years in Cherrydale, he had almost started feeling like an “old” kid. Then—BAM—here he was in Beaver Brook.