Quit Buggin' Me! #4 Read online

  PENGUIN WORKSHOP

  Penguin Young Readers Group

  An Imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

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  Text copyright © 2018 by Nancy Krulik. Illustrations copyright © 2018 by Ben Balistreri. All rights reserved. Published by Penguin Workshop, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014. PENGUIN and PENGUIN WORKSHOP are trademarks of Penguin Books Ltd, and the W colophon is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

  ISBN 9780515158403 (pbk)

  ISBN 9780515158410 (hc)

  ISBN 9780515158427 (ebook)

  Version_1

  For Josie, who really loves grilled cheese—or any other “people food”—NK

  To my fourth golden retriever, Fatty Lumpkin. When life gets difficult, you can always be counted on to remind me what’s truly important. Food—BB

  Contents

  Copyright

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Excerpt from the next Princess Pulverizer

  About the Author & Illustrator

  Chapter 1

  “I wanna play! I wanna play!” Dribble shouted excitedly.

  The ground shook beneath the big green dragon as he jumped up and down. He pointed toward the group of kids who had gathered in the middle of the town square. “I bet I can break that piñata with one swing!” he boasted.

  “I don’t think those kids need any help,” Dribble’s best friend, a knight-in-training named Lucas, said. “That last kid got really close to hitting it.”

  But Dribble didn’t hear Lucas. He was already halfway down the road, bouncing toward the square, shouting, “I wanna play! I wanna play!”

  “I wish he would stop jumping.” Princess Pulverizer groaned, tossing her long braid over her shoulder. “All this shaking is giving me a bellyache.”

  “That could also be from the four grilled cheddar cheese on rye sandwiches you had for breakfast,” Lucas pointed out.

  Princess Pulverizer shrugged. “Dribble makes delicious grilled cheese. I couldn’t help myself.” The earth shook beneath her feet. “Whoa!” she exclaimed.

  “That was a big one,” Lucas agreed.

  “Come on,” Princess Pulverizer urged him. “We better catch up to Dribble before he breaks something. And I don’t mean the piñata.”

  * * *

  “AAAAAHHHHHHH!”

  Princess Pulverizer and Lucas reached the town square in time to see all the children running off to hide—leaving Dribble alone by the piñata.

  “I just wanted to play with them,” Dribble said sadly, looking around the empty square.

  “It’s probably time for their lunch,” Lucas said, trying to spare his feelings.

  Dribble shook his head. “That’s not it. They’re scared of me because I’m a dragon. Which is ridiculous. I wouldn’t hurt anyone. Do I look scary to you?”

  Dribble smiled broadly and bared his big teeth. Then he fluttered his eyelashes over his big, bulging eyes.

  Princess Pulverizer gulped. Dribble didn’t just look scary. He looked a little crazy, too.

  “I wonder where we are,” she said, trying to change the subject. “I’ve never been to this kingdom before.”

  The princess began to walk around the square, searching for a sign that might give her a clue as to her whereabouts. As she passed by a big bale of hay, she heard whispering.

  “Do you think that big green thing is the Yabko-kokomo Beast?” one voice said.

  “I don’t know,” someone else whispered back. “But we better stay here till he leaves, just in case. We don’t want to be the next kids from Yabko-kokomo to be captured and dragged off into the forest.”

  Princess Pulverizer hurried back to where Lucas and Dribble were standing. “We’re in a place called Yabko-kokomo,” she told them.

  “How did you find that out?” Lucas asked her. He looked around. “I don’t see any signs or anything.”

  “I have my ways,” Princess Pulverizer replied mysteriously. “I also learned why the kids all ran away, Dribble. And it’s not because you’re a dragon.”

  “It’s not?” Dribble sounded surprised. “Well, that’s good.”

  “They ran away because they think you’re the Yabko-kokomo Beast,” said Princess Pulverizer. “They think you capture people and drag them away.”

  “What?” Dribble’s voice scaled up angrily. A burst of fire escaped through his mouth. “Why would they think that?”

  “I have no idea,” Princess Pulverizer said with a grin.

  “That’s horrible,” Dribble said. “Why are you smiling?”

  “I’m smiling because there are people who have been kidnapped and need help,” Princess Pulverizer said. “And we’re just the ones to help them.”

  “Wh-why us?” Lucas asked nervously. “I don’t want to fight a beast. Beasts are scary.”

  “How do you know?” Princess Pulverizer asked. “Have you ever met one?”

  “I’m not sure,” Lucas admitted. “What does a beast look like?”

  Dribble shook his head at Princess Pulverizer. “You just want to help those people so you can check off another good deed on your Quest of Kindness,” he said.

  Princess Pulverizer shrugged. “So what? If we rescue the people who have been kidnapped, it’s good for them and for me. It’s really lucky we came by when we did.”

  Neither Lucas nor Dribble seemed particularly surprised to hear the princess declare she wanted to track down the Yabko-kokomo Beast. That’s because Princess Pulverizer wasn’t exactly a sweet, gentle, run-of-the-mill princess. She was different.

  While other princesses were busy dancing the saltarello at royal balls, Princess Pulverizer was busy battling angry ogres.

  While other princesses spent their days sipping tea with their pinkies in the air, Princess Pulverizer spent her days outwitting wicked wizards.

  And while other princesses were welcoming princes into their palaces, Princess Pulverizer was vanquishing vicious villains and terrifying tremendous trolls.

  Princess Pulverizer didn’t even want to be a princess. She wanted to be a knight. A full-fledged, horseback-riding, armor-wearing, damsel-in-distress-saving kind of knight. But to do that, she would have to go to Knight School.

  Her father, King Alexander, had actually said she could go to Knight School—on one condition. She had to complete eight good deeds on a Quest of Kind
ness and collect tokens of gratitude for each one as proof.

  Once she had done that, she could get her first set of armor!

  King Alexander had explained that knights were selfless people who spent their lives helping others. A Quest of Kindness would teach Princess Pulverizer to care about other people, the way all good knights should.

  So now Princess Pulverizer was traveling the countryside trying to find folks who needed her help.

  But doing good deeds was hard work. Luckily, during her travels, Princess Pulverizer had stumbled upon Dribble and Lucas. They were a great help to her, which might surprise a lot of people. After all, Lucas was such a fraidy-cat, the other boys had nicknamed him Lucas the Lily-Livered and laughed him out of Knight School. But he was loyal and good-hearted, as knights needed to be.

  Dribble had been banished from his lair because, unlike other dragons, he used his fire for making grilled cheese sandwiches rather than burning down villages. But if there was anything a princess on a quest needed, it was a good chef—especially one who was also pretty fierce when it came to fighting bad guys.

  The princess and her pals had already used their combined talents to defeat three tough enemies. But that still left five good deeds for the princess to accomplish.

  Unfortunately, not everyone was anxious to go off in search of an evil beast.

  “I don’t think it would be a win for me,” Lucas said. “I don’t want to be captured by a beast. And let’s face it, if a beast is going to capture one of us, it’s bound to be me.”

  Princess Pulverizer looked at Lucas’s rusty suit of armor. She stared at his boots—which appeared to be on the wrong feet. And she watched as he nervously bit at his upper lip. It was true. If anyone were going to be captured, it would probably be Lucas.

  “We’re just going to have to be sure the beast doesn’t capture any of us,” Princess Pulverizer said. “We have to stick together. One little beast can’t be a match for the power of three!” She looked down at Lucas’s feet. “It might help if you put your shoes on the right feet,” she added. “You probably won’t trip as often.”

  “Why do I get the feeling we’re going after this beast no matter what I say?” Lucas asked as he sat down on the ground and removed his boots.

  Princess Pulverizer didn’t answer. Instead, she started heading down the road.

  “Come on, Lucas,” Dribble called to his friend. “The sooner we go, the sooner we rescue the captured Yabko-kokomoians . . . or is it Yabko-kokomites?”

  “I have no idea,” Princess Pulverizer admitted. “I just know we have to find them. Come on, Lucas. Let’s go.”

  “Okay.” Lucas surrendered. He turned around quickly and . . .

  CLANK! His visor fell down over his eyes.

  “Hey! Who turned out the lights?” Lucas shouted. He stumbled in the darkness, struggling with the visor. “I think it’s stuck.” He groaned. “I can’t—”

  SMASH! Lucas rammed right into the piñata. The clay cracked, and the candy and toys began spilling all over the place.

  Kids came running from every corner of the square.

  “Whoa!” Lucas shouted as he lost his balance and fell down onto the cobblestones below.

  The force of the fall knocked Lucas’s visor loose. “Ouch,” he moaned as he lifted it, stood, and walked over to his friends.

  “Those kids don’t seem so frightened anymore,” Dribble huffed. “Some people will do anything for a sweet treat.”

  “Maybe they realized you’re not so scary after all,” Lucas said, trying to be kind.

  Dribble walked a little closer to the fallen treats and toys. He picked up a whirligig and blew hard at its pretty colored blades.

  Whoosh! A small flame shot out of his mouth. The toy went up in smoke.

  “Yikes!” one of the kids shouted as he ran off.

  Dribble looked at the charred whirligig stick in his claw.

  “I gotta watch the pepper jack cheese,” he said. “It gives me heartburn.”

  “Come on, you guys,” Princess Pulverizer urged. “Let’s get out of here. We have Yabko-kokomians to save.”

  “Are you sure it’s not Yabko-kokomites?” Dribble began. “Or even Yabko-kokomoers?”

  Princess Pulverizer shook her head. “Don’t start that again. No matter what they’re called, we have to save them.”

  Dribble nodded in agreement and walked alongside the princess in silence. Lucas hurried to keep up, his rusty armor clanging with each step.

  Princess Pulverizer frowned as she led her friends down the path. She knew she was being bossy. She also knew knights weren’t supposed to be bossy.

  There had to be a better way to get people to do what she wanted.

  But there would be time enough to figure out how to do that—after they’d defeated the Yabko-kokomo Beast!

  Chapter 2

  “Whoops!” Lucas shouted out. His metal suit clanged loudly as he hit the ground, rear end first.

  “Shhhh . . . ,” Princess Pulverizer warned him. “We don’t want to alert the beast if he’s hiding in this apple orchard.”

  “Sorry,” Lucas apologized. “I tripped going around that big hole.”

  “There are a lot of holes in this orchard,” Dribble said. “And some of them are huge.” He pointed to a giant hole near his foot. “You could fit a whole kid in there. Well, a human kid, anyway. We dragons are way too big.”

  “D-d-do you think the Yabko-kokomo Beast dug these holes?” Lucas asked nervously.

  “Nah.” Princess Pulverizer shook her head. “I think they were made by animals. Maybe moles.”

  “Those would have to be really big moles,” Lucas said.

  “Maybe they’re small moles with really big shovels,” Princess Pulverizer suggested with a laugh.

  GRUMBLE! RUMBLE!

  Suddenly, a loud, angry sound filled the air.

  Lucas jumped. “Oh no! It’s the Yabko-kokomo Beast!” he exclaimed.

  Dribble’s green cheeks began to flush pink. “No it’s not,” he admitted. “That was my stomach. I’m hungry. It’s been a long time since breakfast.”

  “I could go for a nice grilled brie on sourdough bread,” Princess Pulverizer suggested.

  “You know what’s better than a grilled cheese sandwich?” Dribble asked.

  “Um . . . nothing?” Lucas tried.

  “Nope,” Dribble said. “A grilled cheese and apple sandwich. Luckily there are plenty of apples around here.”

  “But all these signs say Private Property and Keep Out,” Lucas said nervously. “Maybe we should forget the apples.”

  “There are so many apples on these trees,” Dribble countered. “The person who owns this orchard won’t miss one or two.”

  “But what if the orchard is owned by the Yabko-kokomo Beast?” Lucas asked nervously. “Stealing his apples will make him angry.”

  Princess Pulverizer reached up, grabbed an apple off one of the trees, and took a bite. “I haven’t seen one hint of a beast anywhere,” she told Lucas.

  “Can you finish chewing before you talk?” Dribble asked her. “You’re spraying apple chunks everywhere.”

  Princess Pulverizer frowned. Dribble sounded just like Lady Frump, her teacher at the Royal School of Ladylike Manners. Still, she swallowed before she spoke again.

  “I’m beginning to think maybe there isn’t any Yabko-kokomo Beast at all,” the princess continued.

  “That would be great,” Lucas said.

  “No it wouldn’t,” Princess Pulverizer argued. “It would mean a whole day wasted on my Quest of Kindness.”

  “Not exactly,” Dribble said. “People were still captured. And they’re still missing.”

  Princess Pulverizer smiled broadly. “That’s right!” she said excitedly. Then she glanced at Dribble and Lucas. They were giving her some prett
y disappointed looks. “I mean, those poor, poor folks,” she said, trying desperately to wipe the smile from her face. “We need to look for them.”

  “Right after lunch, I promise,” Lucas told her.

  “We’ll do a better job of looking for them on full stomachs.” Dribble sat down on a huge log and looked around. “I wonder if there are any Granny Smith apples here. Why don’t you go find some?” he suggested to the princess.

  “Why me?” Princess Pulverizer asked.

  “Stop being such a crab apple,” Dribble said. “Do you want to eat or not?”

  Dribble’s stomach wasn’t the only one grumbling and rumbling right about now. Princess Pulverizer’s was making some interesting noises, too.

  “I’ll pick some low-hanging apples from these trees here,” Lucas volunteered. “We all have to pitch in.”

  “Fine,” the princess agreed. “I’ll go to that grove over there. And while I’m at it, I’ll try and figure out what kind of beast we’re dealing with here—because the minute we finish eating, we’re getting back on track with this good deed!”

  * * *

  Princess Pulverizer looked behind a cluster of trees. There was no sign of a beast.

  She looked down at the muddy ground beneath her. Not a single footprint, other than her own.

  She looked up at the sky. There was nothing but a blue jay flying from tree limb to tree limb. (Well, the princess hadn’t really expected to find a beast up there, anyway. But you never knew.)

  There didn’t seem to be any sign of a cruel creature that could be kidnapping the citizens of Yabko-kokomo.

  What if there was no Yabko-kokomo Beast? What if the people who had disappeared had just run away on their own? What if no one needed her help after all?

  Then Princess Pulverizer had been wasting her time, that’s what.

  And if there was one thing she did not have time to waste, it was time. Because she was sick and tired of being called Princess Pulverizer. She wanted to be called Sir Pulverizer.