Red, White, and Achoo! Read online

  “I’m flying a kite,” Suzanne said simply.

  “Yes, I can see that. I meant, why are you out here in the rain flying a kite?” Katie explained. “Want to get under my umbrella?”

  “No. It’s Kite Day,” Suzanne told Katie. “It’s on my calendar.”

  Katie looked at Suzanne. She was sopping wet.

  “You would have been better off if today was Umbrella Day,” Katie told her.

  Suzanne laughed. “But it’s not. And I can’t carry an umbrella and fly a kite at the same time. I love flying kites.”

  Katie watched Suzanne run across the wet playground, trying to get the kite to fly behind her. But the kite didn’t take off. It just dragged along the ground behind her.

  “I don’t think it’s windy enough for it to fly,” Katie explained to Suzanne. Then she looked at the soaking wet kite, and her soaking wet friend. “Don’t you want to come inside with me?”

  Katie expected Suzanne to put up a fight and pretend she was having a great time.

  Instead, Suzanne shrugged. “I guess so. I’m kind of done celebrating Kite Day.”

  The cafeteria was filled with wet kids. They were all waiting for it to be time to go to their classrooms. There were a few teachers in the cafeteria, too. It was their job to keep an eye on the kids.

  “There’s Mrs. Derkman,” Suzanne told Katie. “You need to wave all your fingers at her.”

  “Why do I have to do that?” Katie asked.

  “To celebrate Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day,” Suzanne told her.

  “I thought you said today was Kite Day,” Katie said.

  “It is,” Suzanne agreed. “But I got my calendar in the middle of the month. That means I missed a whole lot of holidays already. I’m trying to celebrate them, too.”

  “Then why don’t youwave at Mrs. Derkman?” Katie asked her.

  “Because she’s not my neighbor. You’re the one who lives next door to her,” Suzanne explained.

  It was hard for Katie to argue with that. Mrs. Derkman washer next-door neighbor. So Katie waved at the teacher with both of her hands.

  Mrs. Derkman looked strangely at Katie. Then she shrugged and waved back at her.

  “Why are you waving at Mrs. Jerkman?” George asked, as he and Kevin walked over to Katie and Suzanne.

  Katie blushed. It was really embarrassing to be caught waving at a teacher. Especially a teacher who was as strict as Mrs. Derkman.

  “Well . . . um . . . Suzanne wanted me to,” Katie stammered. “She said . . .”

  “Katie was just celebrating Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day,” Suzanne explained to George and Kevin.

  “I never heard of that holiday,” George told her.

  “You haven’t heard of a lot of things,” Suzanne said.

  “Why don’t you celebrate Zip Your Lips, Suzanne, Day?” George told her.

  Kevin really cracked up at that one. “Zip Your Lips, Suzanne, Day,” he repeated. “That’s hilarious. Put that holiday in your calendar, Suzanne.”

  Suzanne rolled her eyes. “I’ll have to check my calendar and see when Ignore Boys Day is,” she told Katie. “That will really be something to celebrate!”

  One thing was for sure . . . Suzanne definitely was not about to zip her lips.

  At lunch that day, Suzanne sat down next to Jeremy Fox. Jeremy looked at Suzanne strangely. Katie was surprised, too. Usually Suzanne stayed as far from Jeremy as she could. But not today.

  “Hi, Jeremy,” Suzanne greeted him cheerfully. “How are you feeling? How are things going? Having a good day?”

  “Um . . . okay, I guess,” he answered suspiciously.

  “Great,” Suzanne said. “I’m doing very well today. Even though it’s raining.”

  Jeremy shrugged. “Good,” he answered.

  “So, aren’t you glad we’re friends now?” Suzanne asked him.

  “Huh?” Jeremy asked. He was totally confused.

  “Since when are you two friends?” George asked Suzanne.

  “I’m celebrating Make a Friend Day,” Suzanne told him. “I picked Jeremy as my new friend.”

  “Well, pick someone else,” Jeremy said.

  George and Kevin both laughed.

  “Speaking of celebrating,” Mandy said, “I can’t wait until tomorrow. That’s when the kids in our class are giving our Presidents’ Day oral reports.”

  “Yeah,” George said. “My grandmother loaned me a wig, and I’m covering it with white powder. I’m also going to tuck my pants into knee socks, so they look like knickers. That’s how men dressed in George Washington’s time.”

  “Wait until you guys see how I look in my beard and top hat,” Mandy told the others. “Guess what! A little girl wrote to Abraham Lincoln and said she thought he’d look good in a beard. So he grew one. I read that in this book I got.”

  “Katie, it’s really too bad you didn’t get Thomas Jefferson as your president,” Emma W. said. “He had red hair just like you. I never knew that before. I also found out President Jefferson liked to play the violin. So Mr. Starkey is letting me borrow one from the music room for my presentation tomorrow.”

  Katie frowned. Her friends were all going to have such cool costumes and do cool things. Katie was just planning on wearing a tie, a jacket, and nice pants. That was how Millard Fillmore dressed. And from the pictures Katie had seen, he didn’t even smile. That meant she was going to have to frown through her whole report.

  Splash!

  Just then, a carton of cold, wet milk flew across the table. It landed right in Katie’s lap.

  “Why did you do that?” Katie shouted. She tried to mop up as much milk as she could with some paper napkins.

  “Suzanne, you spilled that milk on purpose!” Mandy exclaimed.

  “Yes, I know I did,” Suzanne said with a smile. “I’m celebrating Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day.”

  “I can’t believe you did that,” Katie exclaimed. She was definitely not smiling. Lots of terrible things were happening. This morning, she’d embarrassed herself by waving at a teacher. She’d just found out her friends were all going to be wearing cooler costumes than she was. And now, her clothes all smelled like milk. Yuck!

  This was just as bad as that day in third grade when she’d wished on that shooting star. Of course, Katie knew better than to wish again. But she could not stop a few tears from spilling.

  “What are you doing?” Suzanne demanded. “It’s Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day. Not Do Cry Over Spilled Milk Day. Look at me. I’mnot crying.”

  “You’re not covered in milk,” Emma W. reminded her.

  “I guess you’re not going to be happy until March 9th,” Suzanne told Katie.

  Katie looked at her strangely. “What’s so great about March 9th?” she asked.

  “It’s National Get Over ItDay,” Suzanne told her. “And that’s exactly what you need to do. Get. Over. It.”

  Chapter 6

  Katie didn’t wait until March to get over Suzanne and her silly holidays. By Wednesday morning, she was smiling again. It was hard not to be happy in class 4A. Especially today. All the kids were dressed in their costumes, getting ready for their Presidents’ Day oral reports.

  Katie had made herself a pretty decent costume. She didn’t get to carry a violin like Emma W. or wear a beard and a top hat like Mandy, but she was dressed in one of her dad’s dark blue suit jackets and a bow tie. She was also carrying a stack of books. She had written a very good report—she was sure no one else’s would be like hers.

  One by one, the kids began to make their speeches. Katie sat quietly in her beanbag chair waiting her turn. It wasn’t easy to sit still. Katie was really excited to show Mr. G. and the class what she’d learned about Millard Fillmore.

  “Okay,” Mr. G. said. “We don’t have much time left. But Katie Kazoo, you haven’t gone yet. Are you ready to tell us all you know about President Fillmore?”

  “I sure am!” Katie exclaimed. She leaped to her feet and
walked toward the front of the room.

  “Millard Fillmore wasn’t elected president,” she told the class. “He was the vicepresident. But when President Zachary Taylor suddenly got sick and died, he became the president.”

  Katie looked out at the class. They were starting to look a little bored. But Katie was ready for that. She smiled brightly at her friends. And then, she broke into a rap she had written especially for today.

  She held up the stack of books. “Millard Fillmore loved to read, so lots of books he did need. In the White House there weren’t any. So Millard F. donated many. He started a library right away, which presidents still use today.”

  Katie was really on a roll now. The kids in her class were clapping in time to her rap.

  Katie went on. “Millard Fillmore is the one, who made sure all animals had fun. He founded a local ASPCA, where cats and dogs could safely play. Fillmore’s not a president of fame, but he helped our country just the same.”

  Rrring.Just then the bell rang. It was time for lunch.

  Katie frowned. “But I haven’t finished my report,” she told Mr. G.

  “I’m sorry,” Mr. G. said. “But time’s up. Don’t feel too badly, Katie. We all know a lot more about Millard Fillmore now. That was a really creative way to teach us.”

  Katie smiled brightly. She was proud that her teacher had liked her report. She’d actually had a lot of fun writing it.

  As she walked down the hall to the cafeteria, she hummed to herself. “Fillmore’s not a president of fame, but he helped our country just the same.”

  The kids in class 4A were all talking about their oral reports during lunch.

  “That was so much fun!” Emma S. said. “I loved when George’s white wig fell off.”

  “I meant to do that,” George told her. Katie giggled. She knew that wasn’t true. George knew it, too. He laughed with her.

  “Your rap was really cool, Katie,” Emma W. told her.

  “Yeah,” Kevin agreed. “You found a really good way to make a boring president seem interesting.”

  “Actually Millard Fillmore wasn’t so boring,” Katie told him.

  “Who’s boring?” Suzanne asked, as she walked over to the table. “Not me. That’s for sure.”

  Katie just looked at Suzanne but didn’t say anything. She was still a little annoyed with her.

  “Relax,” Suzanne said. “I celebrated Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day yesterday.”

  Katie smiled and moved over to make room for Suzanne. “Then that means today is You Can Sit Next to Me Day,” she said.

  Suzanne didn’t mention a holiday during lunch. She just sat there, eating her lunch. Which was very strange behavior—at least for Suzanne.

  “Why are you so quiet? Is today It’s Nothing Special Day?” Emma W. finally asked Suzanne.

  Suzanne shook her head and laughed. “That would be a very silly holiday.”

  Katie didn’t think it was any sillier than Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day, or Toothache Day.

  “Today happens to be a very special day,” Suzanne told the other fourth-graders. “But you will have to wait to find out what it is.”

  Miriam, Zoe, and Mandy had already started a game of double Dutch jump rope by the time Katie and Suzanne got out onto the playground after lunch.

  “Do you want to go over and jump rope with them?” Katie asked Suzanne.

  Suzanne didn’t answer. Instead, she held her finger in the air. “Hmmmm. The wind seems to be coming from the east at about ten miles an hour.”

  Katie looked curiously at Suzanne. “What are you talking about?” she asked.

  “The wind,” Suzanne explained. “I think that’s the reason it feels colder than forty-eight degrees. The temperature was supposed to go that high today. Don’t you think it feels chilly, Katie?”

  “Um . . . I guess,” Katie said. So what if it was a little chilly and windy? Just as long as it wasn’t the magic wind, Katie didn’t mind. “We won’t feel cold once we’re jumping rope.”

  Suzanne nodded slowly. “Well, at least it’s partly sunny out. And although there are a few clouds in the sky, I don’t predict any rain for today. In fact, I’d say there’s no more than a 20 percent chance of rain.”

  “Fine. I’m glad to hear it. Look, Suzanne, do you or don’t you want to go jump rope?” Katie asked. “Or are we going to talk about rain some more?”

  “Katie, be serious,” Suzanne said. “Today is an important holiday.”

  “What holiday is it?” Katie asked her.

  Suzanne grinned widely as if she’d been waiting for Katie to ask that question. “It’s National Weatherperson’s Day.”

  Katie groaned. So that explained Suzanne’s sudden fascination with the sun, the wind, and the temperature.

  “Happy Weatherperson’s Day,” Katie said. “I’m going over to jump rope with Mandy, Miriam, and Zoe.”

  “But National Jump Rope Day isn’t until October,” Suzanne told her.

  “Maybe not,” Katie said. “But I’ve heard that when it’s forty-eight degrees, and the wind is coming from the east, and there’s just a slight chance of rain, it is the perfect time for jumping rope. See you later, Suzanne.”

  Chapter 7

  “George, stop kicking my seat!” Suzanne exclaimed angrily.

  It was Thursday morning. The Cherrydale Elementary School fourth-graders were all seated in the audience of the Cherrydale Arena waiting for the Presidents’ Day show to begin.

  The kids were very excited. They could barely sit still. Especially George. He had trouble sitting still even when he wasn’t on a field trip.

  “I didn’t kick your seat, Suzanne,” George insisted. “It was Kevin.”

  “Blame Someone Else Day isn’t until May,” Suzanne told him. “This is February.”

  “We’re supposed to be here celebrating Presidents’ Day,” Katie reminded her friends. “Mr. G. told us he wanted us to behave during the show.”

  “Exactly,” Suzanne told George and Kevin. “We’re not the only people at the Cherrydale Arena today. Other people came here to enjoy the show, too.”

  “Ms. Sweet made our class promise to behave, too,” Becky Stern said. “Isn’t that right, Jeremy?”

  Jeremy just shrugged. Katie had a feeling the last thing he wanted to do was talk to Becky. She had a big crush on Jeremy. But Jeremy did not have a crush on her.

  “The show doesn’t start for five more minutes,” George insisted. “We’ll be quiet then.”

  Katie nodded and got up from her seat. “Excuse me, Suzanne,” she said as she crawled over her friend’s legs and into the aisle.

  “Where are you going?” Suzanne asked her.

  “To the bathroom,” Katie whispered. “My mother has been making me drink gallons of orange juice so I don’t get another cold. I’m in the bathroom a lot.”

  “Well, hurry back,” Suzanne told her. “The show’s going to start any minute.”

  “Yeah, hurry up, Katie Kazoo,” Kevin said. “You don’t want to miss the Parade of Presidents.”

  Katie nodded. “I’ll be back in a sec,” she assured her friends.

  Unfortunately, there was a line for the bathroom when Katie got there. She just had to stand there and wait . . . and wait . . . and wait. Soon, she could hear music starting inside the theater.

  Finally, it was her turn. She went in a stall and shut the door. And then she felt a cool breeze blowing on the back of her neck.

  That was strange. There weren’t any windows in the bathroom. And the door was shut tight. Where was that breeze coming from?

  Before Katie could take another look around, the cool breeze picked up speed, becoming a cold wind. A wind that was circling just around Katie. Oh no! This wasn’t just any wind. This was the magic wind!

  “Not now!” Katie shouted out. “I’ve been waiting all week to see this show. Go away, magic wind!”

  But the magic wind didn’t listen to Katie. Instead it grew stronger and stronger, ci
rcling around her like a wild tornado. Katie shut her eyes tight and tried really hard not to cry.

  And then it stopped. Just like that. The magic wind was gone.

  And so was Katie Carew. She’d turned into someone else. One . . . two . . . switcheroo! But who?

  Chapter 8

  Katie opened her eyes and looked around. That was strange. She was suddenly in the back of the theater, behind the last row of seats. At least that’s where she thought she was. It was so dark, it was hard to tell.

  Gak.Katie felt a strange choking feeling around her neck. She reached up, and loosened her tie a little. Ahh.That was better.

  Wait a minute. Her tie?Katie wasn’t wearing a tie today. She was wearing her new blue denim dress. Or at least that’s what she’d been wearing before the magic wind had arrived.

  Katie looked down at her feet. Her bright red high-top sneakers were gone. Instead she was wearing a pair of dancing shoes. Men’s dancing shoes.

  That could only mean one thing. The magic wind had turned Katie into a man. But which man?

  Just then, a guy with a clipboard came over to talk to Katie. “Now remember, you follow Zachary Taylor in the Parade of Presidents,” he told her. “We’re doing this in order.”

  Katie looked at the guy strangely. “Who are you?” she asked him.

  “What are you talking about?” the man wondered. “I’m Sam, the stage manager. Quit clowning around. The show starts in one minute.”

  Katie gasped. If Sam was the stage manager, that must mean that Katie had been switcherooed into one of the actors. And not just any actor. Katie thought for a moment. She was supposed to follow Zachary Taylor in the parade. So she must be the actor playing the president who came right after Taylor . . . and that was none other than Millard Fillmore!

  The show was starting in just one minute! Katie didn’t know any of the songs or lines Millard Fillmore was supposed to say. She had to get out of this.