Love Stinks! Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Copyright Page

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  A Card Idea from Katie Kazoo to You!

  For my valentine, from your

  not-so-secret admirer—N.K.

  For Karen, a real sweetheart!—J&W

  The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or

  via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and

  punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions,

  and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted

  materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

  Text copyright © 2004 by Nancy Krulik. Illustrations copyright © 2004 by

  John and Wendy. All rights reserved. Published by Grosset & Dunlap, a

  division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 345 Hudson Street, New York,

  New York 10014. GROSSET & DUNLAP is a trademark of Penguin Group

  (USA) Inc. S.A.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  eISBN : 978-1-101-14195-3

  eISBN : 978-1-101-14195-3

  http://us.penguingroup.com

  Chapter 1

  “So are you playing goalie at your soccer game today?” Katie Carew asked her best friend Jeremy Fox. They were walking home from school together after band practice on Monday afternoon.

  Jeremy didn’t answer Katie. Instead he dropped his head and ducked behind her. “Hide me!” he whispered.

  “From what?” Katie asked him.

  “From Becky. She’s coming this way.”

  Everyone in the fourth grade knew that Becky Stern had a crush on Jeremy. Jeremy didn’t like Becky at all. But this was the first time he’d ever actually hidden from her.

  Katie giggled. “Oh, come on. She’s not that bad.”

  “You want to bet?” Jeremy said. “She’s been following me for two weeks! She keeps talking to me about Valentine’s Day.” He ducked down even farther.

  Now Katie understood. Valentine’s Day was this Saturday. Becky was probably hoping that Jeremy would be her valentine. Considering Jeremy was hiding from Becky, Katie doubted that would ever happen.

  Unfortunately, Becky spotted Jeremy behind Katie. “There you are,” she called out to him in her soft Southern accent. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

  “Why?” Jeremy asked her.

  “To give you these.” Becky held out a clear plastic bag filled with chocolate kisses. “I saw them at Cinnamon’s Candy Shop and thought of you.”

  Jeremy frowned. “No, thanks. I don’t eat candy. I’m in training.”

  Katie tried hard not to laugh. That hadn’t stopped him before. Just yesterday he’d eaten a whole bag of gumdrops!

  But Becky wasn’t insulted that Jeremy wouldn’t take her gift. In fact, she seemed impressed. “Oh, Jeremy, you’ve got such willpower,” she cooed. “I should be in training for my gymnastics classes, too. We’re working on backflips. Look what I learned this week.” Becky turned around to make sure no one was coming and flipped in the air, right in the middle of the sidewalk!

  “That was really good!” Katie said.

  Becky smiled. “Thanks. What did you think, Jeremy?”

  “It was okay,” Jeremy mumbled. His face was redder than Katie’s hair! “I ... um ... I gotta get going. I’ve got a soccer game.”

  “Oh, okay,” Becky said. “Well, see ya later ... Happy almost Valentine’s Day!”

  Jeremy rolled his eyes and walked off. Katie hurried to catch up to him.

  “You see what I mean?” Jeremy asked her.

  “I’d say she definitely flipped for you!” Katie joked.

  Jeremy groaned.

  “Don’t worry. Valentine’s Day will be over soon,” Katie told him. “She won’t bug you so much after that.”

  “I hope not,” Jeremy said.

  “I can’t believe you gave up a whole bag of chocolate kisses. They looked delicious.”

  “It wasn’t hard,” Jeremy assured her. “I’m still full from yesterday. Can you believe how much candy we ate?”

  “I didn’t eat that much.”

  “Only three licorice sticks, a bunch of sour lemon drops, and a rainbow-colored lollipop,” Jeremy reminded her.

  “Oh, yeah. I forgot about the lollipop,” Katie said. She licked her lips. “Cinnamon’s Candy Shop has the best lollipops.”

  Jeremy nodded. “I’m so glad Cinnamon decided to open a candy store in the mall.”

  Katie knew exactly what he meant. Cinnamon’s Candy Shop was located right across from the Book Nook, the store Katie’s mom managed. It was a fun place to hang out while Katie waited for her mom to finish with work. Sometimes Katie brought her friends, like Jeremy and Suzanne Lock, to hang out there with her.

  Cinnamon was really nice. She let Katie dip strawberries into dark chocolate or fill the penny candy drawers with bubble gum, hard candies, and tiny chocolate bars. Best of all, she always gave Katie free lemon drops.

  “You’d better hope Becky doesn’t visit Cinnamon’s Candy Shop this week,” Katie told Jeremy.

  “Why not?”

  “Cinnamon is selling giant candy hearts,” she explained. “She’ll put any message you want right on the heart. Cinnamon guarantees to have the heart delivered in time for Valentine’s Day!”

  “That would be so embarrassing!” Jeremy exclaimed.

  “Well, if Becky does send you a heart, at least it will be delicious.” Katie was trying to make him feel better.

  But it didn’t work. “I hate Valentine’s Day!” Jeremy grumbled.

  Chapter 2

  But not all the fourth-graders hated Valentine’s Day. In fact, Wednesday afternoon, right after her cooking class, Katie hurried over to Suzanne’s house. She, Becky, Emma Weber, and Jessica Haynes were all getting together with Suzanne to make valentines for their friends.

  “Oh, that’s a cute one,” Emma said as she looked at the long, thin, squiggly-shaped card Katie was working on. “It looks just like Slinky.”

  Suzanne looked curiously at Katie. “You made a valentine for a snake?”

  “Of course,” Katie told her. “Animals need love, too. I even made one for my dog, Pepper.”

  “Pepper’s cute, but Slinky is creepy,” Suzanne said with a shudder.

  “Slinky is not creepy!” Katie insisted.

  “I’m glad our class has a guinea pig. I love Fuzzy,” Suzanne boasted.

  Suzanne was always bragging about what was happening in class 4B. But Katie didn’t care. She was glad Suzanne was happy in her classroom. Katie was certainly happy in hers.

  Class 4A was a very different kind of classroom. Katie had never been in one like it before. Her teacher, Mr. Guthrie, wasn’t very strict. He let the kids sit in beanbag chairs instead of at desks. He thought they learned better when they were comfortable.

  Mr. Guthrie did other cool stuff, like letting George Brennan and Kadeem Carter have joke-telling contests. He called them joke-offs. And Mr. Guthrie had gotten the class the coolest pet in the whole school—Slinky the snake. The kids had raised him ever since he’d hatched from his egg.

  “Look what I made for Jeremy,” Becky announced, interrupting Katie’s thoughts. She leaped to her feet and held up a giant red construction paper heart with lace trim. “Do you think he’ll like it?”

  Katie knew Jeremy would hate
getting a huge card from Becky. But she didn’t tell her that. Katie didn’t like to hurt people’s feelings.

  “I don’t know what you see in Jeremy,” Suzanne said. “He’s such a jerk.”

  “That’s mean, Suzanne,” Katie told her.

  Suzanne shrugged. “He’s your best friend, Katie. Not mine.”

  Katie nodded. That was the truth. Suzanne and Jeremy were both Katie’s best friends. But they didn’t always like each other very much.

  “Who are you making valentines for, Suzanne?” Jessica asked her.

  “Just for my very best friends,” she said. “I don’t want to waste time making cards for people who aren’t going to give me one.”

  “That makes sense,” Jessica said. “Oh, and just so you know, I’m making one for you.”

  Emma W. was busy making her valentines. “Do you have any more pink construction paper?” she asked.

  “Sure,” Suzanne told her. “It’s over there, next to Heather’s play kitchen.” She pointed to a little plastic kitchen that was filled with plastic food, pots, and pans.

  Heather was Suzanne’s one-year-old sister. Lately, Suzanne’s whole house had begun to look like a toy store. There were stuffed animals, rag dolls, and big rubber balls all over the place.

  Emma certainly didn’t mind. She had three younger brothers. She knew what it was like to live with a lot of toys around. She just stepped over the dolls and balls to reach the construction paper. “My twin brothers have the same kitchen,” she told Suzanne. “But theirs isn’t as nice. It’s a hand-me-down.”

  “That one’s brand-new,” Suzanne told her. “My parents are always buying new toys for Heather.” She sounded a little jealous.

  Ding dong. Just then, the doorbell rang.

  “I’ll get it,” Suzanne called out, loud enough for her mother to hear. She leaped up from the table and raced for the door.

  When Suzanne returned, she was carrying a big cardboard box in her hand.

  “It’s a package from Cinnamon’s Candy Shop,” Suzanne announced. “And it’s addressed to me!”

  “Oh, yummy,” Becky said. “Who sent it?”

  “I don’t know,” Suzanne replied as she looked at the box.

  “Is there a card or anything?” Emma W. asked.

  “Maybe it’s on the inside,” Jessica suggested. “Open it.”

  “Okay, okay, don’t rush me!” Suzanne exclaimed excitedly. She carefully began to open the box. “It’s one of those giant candy hearts!”

  Katie looked down at the sugary pink heart. It looked just like the little pink candy message hearts Cinnamon sold at the store. But this heart was the size of a small cake! Cinnamon had etched a picture of a bumble bee and the word MINE onto the heart. “Be mine,” Katie realized.

  “A candy valentine!” Jessica squealed. “Who is it from?”

  Suzanne picked up a small white envelope from the bottom of the box. “It says, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day from your secret admirer.’ ”

  “Wow!” Becky exclaimed. “A secret admirer. I wish I had one of those.”

  Suzanne laughed. “Come on, Becky. It’s no secret who you‘d like to get candy from.”

  Becky blushed while all the girls giggled.

  All except Katie, that is. She was getting really tired of hearing about how much Becky liked Jeremy. After all, Jeremy was her best friend. And Becky was making him really unhappy.

  “So who do you think the admirer is?” Emma asked Suzanne.

  “Maybe it’s a boy in our class,” Jessica suggested.

  “It could be an older boy. Like in the fifth grade,” Emma W. thought out loud.

  “I don’t know,” Suzanne said. “It’s a mystery.”

  “We’ll figure out who it is,” Jessica assured Suzanne. “Starting tomorrow, we’re all going to look around and see if any of the boys are paying special attention to you.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t go to our school,” Suzanne quickly suggested.

  “Then where would he be from?” Becky asked.

  Suzanne said with a shrug, “He could be from anywhere.”

  Katie rolled her eyes and looked over at her best friend. Suzanne was clearly enjoying all the attention. But she didn’t seem as excited by the candy heart as Katie thought she might be.

  There was something weird about this whole secret admirer thing. Katie just couldn’t figure out what it was.

  Chapter 3

  First thing Thursday morning, Katie and most of the girls in the fourth grade gathered on the playground. But Katie wasn’t happy. All anyone could talk about was Suzanne’s secret admirer. Emma, Becky, and Jessica must have been on the phone all night telling people about it. Katie really didn’t care about Suzanne’s secret admirer.

  When Kevin Camilleri walked by, Jessica turned her attention to him.

  “Hey, Kevin,” Jessica called out. “What do you think of Suzanne?” she asked.

  Kevin frowned. “I think she’s a snob.”

  “So you’re not her secret admirer?”

  “If I am, it’s a secret to me!” Kevin ran off to kick a soccer ball with Andrew Epstein.

  “We can cross Kevin off our list,” Jessica said.

  Emma W. nodded. “You can cross George Brennan off, too. I called him last night. He doesn’t like Suzanne very much.”

  “Do you think it could be Jeremy?” Jessica asked Katie. “He’s your best friend, so you should know.”

  Katie shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

  “That’s a relief,” Becky said.

  “I’ve already talked to Andrew and Kadeem,” Emma W. told the girls. “They didn’t even know Cinnamon was making big candy hearts. So neither of them could be the secret admirer.”

  Katie sighed. She really didn’t want to talk about this anymore. Katie was tired of hearing about all the mushy, lovey-dovey stuff. She was already sick of Valentine’s Day ... and it hadn’t even come yet!

  At just that moment, Suzanne strolled onto the playground. She was holding a small white envelope in her hand.

  “Hi, everyone,” she greeted the crowd of girls.

  “Hi, Suzanne,” Jessica replied. “We’ve been talking to all the boys in the fourth grade. So far, we haven’t been able to figure out who your secret admirer is.”

  “Well, maybe this will help,” she said, holding out the white envelope. “I found it in my mailbox this morning.”

  Katie wondered why Suzanne had been looking in her mailbox first thing in the morning. The mail usually didn’t get delivered until after they were in school.

  Jessica took the envelope from Suzanne. Inside was a note made up of letters that were cut from magazines. It read:Be Mine.

  From,

  Your Secret Admirer

  “Wow!” Miriam exclaimed.

  “That’s so romantic,” Becky added.

  “Well, I guess we won’t be able to figure out who he is from his handwriting,” Katie said.

  “He’s good at keeping his identity a secret,” Emma W. noted. “I’ll bet he’s really smart.”

  “Well, that leaves out any of the fourth-grade boys,” Jessica joked. “None of them are very smart.”

  Just then, the school bell rang. “We’re not going to be able to solve this now,” Suzanne told the others. “It’s time to go inside.”

  Becky turned just as Jeremy, Kevin, and Manny Gonzalez were walking by.

  “Hey, Jeremy,” she called.

  “Hi, Becky,” Jeremy mumbled back.

  “Are you going to our cooking club meeting Saturday?” she asked. Every Saturday some of the kids in the fourth grade met at Katie’s house to cook. Sometimes they used recipes from Katie’s Wednesday after-school cooking class or sometimes they just made their own creations. Either way, it was a lot of fun.

  “I’ve got a soccer game in the morning,” he told her. “But I’ll probably come after.”

  “Oh, good, I’m going to the meeting, too. Maybe we can cook a Valentine’s Day treat together,” B
ecky said hopefully.

  Jeremy blushed.

  Katie sighed. It was obvious Becky had made Jeremy uncomfortable ... again!

  But Becky didn’t seem to notice. “See you in class,” she told him. Then she ran off into the school building with Suzanne and Jessica.

  “Oh, Jeremy, that sounds soooo romantic,” George teased.

  “Yeah,” Manny added. He batted his eyelashes wildly. “We can cook together. Oooo.”

  Katie watched Jeremy’s face. She could tell he didn’t think George and Manny were very funny.

  “I wish there was no such thing as Valentine’s Day!” he shouted out angrily.

  Katie gasped. Jeremy had just made a wish. That could mean real trouble!

  Katie knew that sometimes wishes came true. And not the way you meant them to, either.

  Katie’s troubles with wishes all started one day at the beginning of third grade. Katie had lost the football game for her team, ruined her favorite pair of pants, and let out a big burp in front of the whole class. That night, Katie had wished she could be anyone but herself.

  There must have been a shooting star overhead when she made that wish, because the very next day the magic wind came.

  The magic wind was a wild tornado that blew just around Katie. It was so powerful that every time it came, it turned her into somebody else! Katie never knew when the wind would arrive. But when it did, her whole world was turned upside down ... switcheroo!

  The first time the magic wind came, it turned Katie into Speedy, the hamster in her third-grade class! Katie escaped from the hamster cage and wound up in the boys’ locker room! Good thing the magic wind turned Katie back into herself before the boys found out a girl had been in there!

  The magic wind came back again and again after that. Sometimes it changed Katie into other kids—like Jeremy, Emma W., Becky, and Suzanne. Other times it turned her into adults—like Lucille the lunch lady, Principal Kane, and the school music teacher, Mr. Starkey. That had been an especially bad time. The kids in the band definitely did not make beautiful music while Katie was conducting.