Someone's Got a Screw Loose Read online

  “We’re not weirdos,” I shot back.

  “What do you call someone who talks to refrigerators and electric mixers?” Sherry asked.

  “Or who scores soccer goals with his butt?” Jerry added.

  “Or saws wood with his teeth?” the twins said together.

  I couldn’t really argue with them. Those were pretty weirdo things to do.

  And Java had done them all.

  Arf! Arf!

  Just then, I heard a loud racket coming from a nearby picnic table. I turned around just in time to see …

  CRASH!

  SPLAT!

  “Pookie, no!” I heard Mrs. Silverspoon shout out.

  The twins’ poodle, Pookie, had gotten loose in the yard and knocked over the giant birthday cake that had just been brought out. There was frosting all over everyone.

  Now Pookie was happily jumping up and down and licking frosting from all the guests’ faces.

  “Oh no!” Sherry exclaimed.

  “Not our ten-layer sponge cake with rhubarb frosting,” Jerry shouted.

  “It was very expensive!” Sherry told Jackie Pepperoni. “My father had it flown here from a bakery in Paris.”

  “And now our gourmet sponge cake is ruined,” Jerry said.

  Java smiled. He wiggled his ears. He scratched his behind. And then he shouted, “I can do it!”

  Java raced over to the sponge-toss booth. He grabbed ten sponges and piled them up. Then he picked up one of the birthday candles that had toppled from the cake and stuck it on the top sponge.

  “Here,” he told Jerry and Sherry. “There’s no frosting, but plenty of sponges.”

  Jackie Pepperoni started to laugh. “You’re very funny,” she told my cousin.

  Jerry and Sherry stared at Java.

  Then they stared at me.

  And, for just a moment, I thought they were about to cry.

  10.

  Extra! Extra!

  It was the party of the year! Jerry and Sherry Silverspoon turned ten at their backyard carnival. The highlight of the party was the fabulous magician Logan Applebaum and his assistant, Java.

  “This is worse than I thought,” Sherry said as I read Jackie Pepperoni’s newspaper article aloud on the school bus.

  “She hardly even mentioned us,” Jerry added.

  “Sure she did,” Stanley said, reading over my shoulder. “It says right here:

  “I don’t know why Jerry and Sherry invited me,” Nadine Vardez, one of the Silverspoons’ classmates said, “but I am sure glad they did. That was the best magic show I’ve ever seen.”

  “It wasn’t that great,” Jerry argued.

  “It stunk worse than Logan’s dirty sneakers,” Sherry complained.

  I ignored them and went back to reading the article out loud.

  The lucky twins received 137 huge stuffed purple elephants as gifts from their guests.

  “You guys got them stuffed elephants, too?” Stanley asked me.

  I shrugged. “My mom picked them out.”

  “Mine, too,” Stanley said. “There must have been a big sale on purple elephants.”

  “Did you know an elephant’s trunk can weigh four hundred pounds?” Java blurted out suddenly.

  Everyone on the bus stared at him.

  “And did you know that elephants are so handy with their trunks, they can use them to pick up a grain of rice?” Java continued.

  “Java’s such a weirdo,” Jerry said.

  “He’s the king of the weirdos,” Sherry agreed.

  “I think you’re a really smart cookie,” Nadine told Java.

  Java smiled. He wiggled his ears. And then he shouted, “I can do it!”

  The next thing I knew, Java had grabbed my lunch box. He opened the lid and pulled out one of my chocolate sandwich cookies.

  Java twisted the cookie open and stared at the filling.

  “This is not a smart cookie,” he said. “There’s no hard drive inside. Only a creamy filling.”

  Everyone on the bus started laughing.

  Everyone except for Jerry and Sherry, that is. They just rolled their eyes and gave Java and me dirty looks.

  But I really didn’t care. For some reason, the way Sherry and Jerry felt about my cousin and me just didn’t seem to matter anymore.

  Java was smart.

  And funny.

  And a lot of fun to have around.

  I actually felt lucky to have him as my cousin.

  And that’s not weird at all.

  A Really Cool Magic Trick

  You don’t need an android assistant to amaze your friends with your magic skills. Everything you need to be a master magician can be found right in your own kitchen.

  Your friends are guaranteed to be astounded when you lift an ice cube out of a glass using nothing more than a piece of string.

  Or at least that what it will look like to them.

  They don’t know the magician’s secret. But you do.

  Here’s what you’ll need:

  1 full glass of water

  1 ice cube

  1 piece of string

  A salt shaker

  Here’s What You Do:

  This trick has to be set up ahead of time.

  About a minute before your magic show, place the ice cube in the full glass of water.

  Lay the string over your ice cube.

  Pour a dash of salt on top of the string. (Make sure no one in your audience sees you doing this.)

  Ask your audience to take their seats. Hold up the glass of water and tell them, “I am going to lift this ice cube right out of the water, using nothing more than this piece of magic string.” Of course everyone will be amazed. You can’t lift ice from a glass with string.

  Say the magic word:

  Gently pull the edge of the string out of the glass. The ice cube will remain attached to the string.

  Take your bow as your audience cheers wildly at your amazing magic skills. They will have no idea how you performed such an extraordinary feat.

  Here’s the secret:

  Salt makes ice melt more quickly by lowering its freezing temperature. (That’s why people put salt over icy roads during the winter.) But when the salt melts from the ice cube into the water, the ice freezes up again. And since the string is on top of the ice, it becomes frozen onto the cube when the ice refreezes.

  Remember, don’t tell anyone why the trick works. A magician never reveals his secrets!

  About the Authors

  Nancy Krulik is the author of more than two hundred books for children and young adults including three New York Times bestsellers and the popular Katie Kazoo, Switcheroo; George Brown, Class Clown; and Magic Bone series. She lives in New York City with her husband and a crazy beagle mix. Visit her online at www.realnancykrulik.com.

  Amanda Burwasser holds a BFA with honors in creative writing from Pratt Institute in New York City. Her senior thesis earned the coveted Pratt Circle Award. A preschool teacher, she resides in Forestville, California.

  About the Illustrator

  Mike Moran is a dad, husband, and illustrator. His illustrations can be seen in children’s books, animation, magazines, games, World Series programs, and more. He lives in Florham Park, New Jersey. Visit him online at www.mikemoran.net.