Lice Check Read online

  George plopped himself down in Nurse Cuttaway’s chair and folded his arms. There. Sage couldn’t get him here. No one with lice was allowed near the lice-check station. They had to stay put in the Lice Corner.

  Which meant George was safe as long as he was in this chair.

  Squeak, squeak, squeak. Nurse Cuttaway’s rubber-gloved hands rubbed at his scalp. But George didn’t care. Not this time. Those rubber gloves were saving him from hugging a lice-covered Sage! As far as George was concerned, they were heroes!

  “I’m so excited for Career Day,” Alex said as he set his lunch tray down next to George in the cafeteria a little while later. “My mom’s coming to share what it’s like to be a dentist. She loves talking to kids about healthy teeth.”

  “I asked my dad to come instead of my mom,” George said. “Everyone in school has been to my mom’s craft store, so they already know about her job. But I doubt anyone has been on the army base where my dad works.” He opened his milk container and took a big swig. “Everyone’s going to want to hear about that. My dad’s booth is going to be mobbed.”

  “I wouldn’t bet on it,” Louie interrupted as he sat down at the table across from Alex and George. Mike and Max took seats on either side of him.

  “Why not?” George asked Louie. “Don’t you think being in the army is interesting?”

  “Maybe,” Louie replied with a shrug. “But not as interesting as being a lawyer. And there won’t be any kids at your dad’s booth, because everyone is going to be busy listening to my dad.”

  “Yeah, everybody,” Max told George.

  “Every single kid,” Mike added. Then he stopped and looked at Louie. “But then there won’t be any kids coming by to hear my dad talk about what it’s like to be a mailman.”

  “Sure there will,” Louie said. “When my dad’s booth gets too crowded, I’ll send the overflow to your dad’s booth.”

  “Oh. Okay. Cool,” Mike said.

  “It can’t be that interesting being a lawyer,” George grumbled.

  “You wanna bet?” Louie asked menacingly.

  George gulped. When Louie sounded like that, he was usually pretty sure of himself. For some reason, he was certain his dad was going to be the most popular guy at Career Day. And he must be sure he could use that fact to make a fool out of George. Making George look like a fool was Louie’s favorite hobby.

  Still, there was no way George was going to let Louie claim that his dad was better than George’s dad. No way at all.

  “Yeah. I do want to bet,” George said defiantly. “I bet you my dad will have more kids coming to his booth than your dad will.” He held out his hand to shake on it.

  But Louie didn’t shake. Instead he said, “If you want to bet, then we should make this more interesting.”

  “Definitely,” Mike agreed.

  “Yeah, interesting,” Max added. Then he looked at Louie. “Actually a bet is already kind of interesting.”

  “And a bet for something is even more interesting,” Louie said. He smiled at George. “Tell you what. If more people come to see my dad at the fair than come to see yours, you have to give me that skeleton ring you’re always flashing around.”

  George gulped. His skeleton ring? The one with the red stones for eyes? The one George had bought with the money that he’d earned working at Mr. Furstman’s pet store?

  George loved that ring. He really did. But he wasn’t going to back down. Not from Louie. He was going to defend his dad. Like a good soldier. Well, a good soldier’s son, anyway.

  “Okay,” George said slowly. “And if more people show up to my dad’s booth, then . . .” George paused for a minute. What did Louie have that George would really want? It was hard to decide. Louie had everything. But the one thing he had that George really wanted was . . .

  “You have to give me your sneakers with wheels in them!” George shouted suddenly.

  “My wheelie sneakers?” Louie gulped. “My mom would kill me if I gave those away.”

  “That’s the bet,” George said. “Take it or leave it.”

  Louie took a deep breath. “Okay,” he said finally. Then he smiled. “It’s no big deal, anyway. I’m not gonna lose.”

  “Me neither,” George said, trying to sound confident. He twirled his skeleton ring around on his finger. At least he hoped he wouldn’t.

  “How are you guys going to keep track of how many kids actually show up at your dads’ booths?” Alex asked George and Louie.

  George thought about that for a minute. “I know,” he said finally. “We’ll have sign-in sheets at our booths.”

  “Yeah,” Louie agreed. “And the guy with the most signatures of people who showed up wins.”

  “Great idea, Louie,” Max said.

  “You’re so smart, Louie,” Mike added.

  George rolled his eyes. The sign-in sheets hadn’t been Louie’s idea. But there was no point in reminding Max and Mike about that.

  “Okay, now that that’s settled, I’m gonna eat my lunch,” Louie said. He opened his lunch bag and took out his turkey sandwich. Then he unwrapped a thin package of red powder and poured it on top of his turkey.

  “What’s that?” Max asked Louie.

  “Chili powder,” Louie told him.

  “That’s hot stuff,” Alex said. “You sure you want to use all of it?”

  “I’m sure,” Louie replied. “The hotter the better, if I want to keep the lice away.”

  “What are you talking about?” Max asked him.

  “Hey, I was gonna ask him that!” Mike said.

  “Well, I asked first,” Max told Mike.

  George choked back a laugh. These guys were ridiculous.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you both,” Louie said. “I’m gonna eat something spicy so my temperature will go up, and any louse that might be near me will burn up on contact.”

  “It doesn’t work that way,” Alex told Louie.

  “Sure it does,” Louie said. “When you eat spicy foods, you sweat. You sweat when you get hot. And heat burns things.”

  Alex shook his head. “Even if your internal temperature goes up enough to make you sweat, it’s only for an instant. And it isn’t hot enough to actually burn something on the outside of your body.”

  “You don’t know everything,” Louie told Alex. And with that, he took a big bite of his turkey-and-chili-powder sandwich.

  For a minute, Louie just sat there, chewing. And then, suddenly, his face turned beet red. His mouth opened and his tongue dropped out.

  “AAAAHHHHH!” Louie shouted. He poured his juice box down his throat in one gulp. Then he grabbed Max’s water and drank that, too. Finally he grabbed Mike’s juice. But the box was empty.

  “Sorry, Louie,” Mike said. “I drank it already.”

  Louie didn’t hear Mike’s apology. He’d already jumped up from the table and was racing toward the water fountain at the other side of the cafeteria.

  George decided right then and there that he was officially a big fan of chili powder. He didn’t know if it could get rid of lice. But it had gotten rid of Louie. And getting rid of Louie was always a good thing.

  “Are you worried about losing your ring to Louie?” Alex asked George late Saturday afternoon. The boys were visiting the army base with George’s dad, so George could do some research for the paper he had to turn in on Tuesday.

  “A little,” George admitted. “I mean I know being in the army has to be more interesting than being a lawyer, but Louie sure sounded confident.”

  “Louie always sounds confident,” Alex reminded George. “Even when he’s wrong. And he’s wrong a lot.”

  George smiled. Alex was trying to make him feel better. And it worked, at least a little. But George was still worried that Louie had some trick up his sleeve to help him win the ring right off George�
�s finger.

  “Come on, boys, hurry up,” George’s dad said. “We’re going to be late for chow.”

  George picked up his pace. “Chow” meant food. Which was good, because George was plenty hungry.

  “Hey, Sarge, is this your boy?” one of the soldiers working behind the food counter asked as George and Alex took their places in line.

  George grinned. He loved it when people called his dad “Sarge.”

  “Yes, this is George,” his dad said. “And this is his best friend, Alex. They’re here to study what goes on at an army base.”

  The soldier behind the counter placed a plate on George’s tray. George looked down. Roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and cooked spinach. Not bad—except for the spinach. George hated spinach. It always felt like pieces of slimy green skin sliding down his throat.

  “Okay, boys,” George’s dad said as they sat down at a table in the mess hall. “Eat up. And don’t take too long. There’s a lot to see around here. An army base is a really cool place.”

  George was counting on that. He had to get lots of other kids to come learn about his dad’s army career, so he could get to keep his ring—and earn himself a new pair of wheelie sneakers, too!

  “These are the barracks,” George’s dad said a little while later, as the boys walked into a room where some of the soldiers on the base lived.

  George looked around. It seemed as though they were in a small apartment. In fact, if it weren’t called a barracks, there would be nothing special about this place at all. It was just a place to live—with a bathroom, a bedroom, and a small kitchen.

  George fingered his skeleton ring nervously. If things didn’t get more interesting around the base, he wouldn’t have the ring much longer.

  “Um . . . Dad . . . is there anything really cool going on around here?” he asked his father. “I mean something you could talk about with the kids at school?”

  “Sure,” George’s dad assured him. “We’ve only just begun our tour. Come on.”

  The boys followed as George’s dad led them back outside. There were soldiers all over the base. Going in and out of buildings. Standing around, chatting with each other. Talking on cell phones.

  “This is boring,” George whispered to Alex. “And that’s baaaddd.”

  “Maybe it will get better.” Alex looked around the base. Suddenly a smile formed on his face. “Check out those soldiers,” he said, pointing to an obstacle course.

  George looked over and saw a group of soldiers climbing up the side of a tower, while another group rappelled down the other side on ropes. “Why are they doing that?” he wondered aloud.

  “It helps make them better soldiers,” George’s dad explained.

  Alex looked up at George’s dad. “How does going up and down a tower do that?”

  “The obstacle course builds confidence,” George’s dad answered. “And it makes sure the soldiers stay in shape.”

  “We do stuff like that in gym,” George said. “Only we don’t climb up so high.”

  “And we don’t slither in the mud or crawl under nets,” Alex added, pointing at some soldiers who were further along in the course. He turned to George. “That’s kind of cool.”

  George didn’t answer. He just stood there watching the soldiers climb up and go down the wall, and slither in the mud. It looked fun. But was it more fun than being a lawyer? George had no idea, because he didn’t really know what lawyers did.

  The only thing George knew for sure was that there was trouble brewing on the army base. He knew that because it was brewing in the bottom of his belly. And it was the kind of enemy even the US Army couldn’t stop. The super burp was back.

  Bling-blonk. Pling-plonk. The bubbles were using George’s insides as an obstacle course. Already they had slithered up George’s side, and maneuvered their way through his middle. Now they were trekking up through his trachea.

  George tried to signal Alex for help, but there wasn’t time.

  George let out a super burp so loud the soldiers at the top of the tower could hear it.

  “Did you say something, Sarge?” one of the men called down.

  George opened his mouth to say, “Excuse me,” but that’s not what came out. Instead, he started counting. “Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four.”

  Then George’s legs started marching. “Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four.”

  “George, where do you think you’re going?” his father asked him.

  George didn’t answer. He couldn’t. He had no idea where he was going. The burp hadn’t told him yet.

  But a minute later, the burp let George know exactly what he was in for. The burp was in the mood to try the army obstacle course. So the next thing George knew, he was climbing one of the long ropes, heading for the top of the tower.

  George’s arms pulled him higher and higher up the rope. He didn’t dare look down. He was too far off the ground. George didn’t like being up there at all. But the burp didn’t mind. Burps aren’t afraid of heights.

  “George! Get down from there!” his father shouted. “You’re acting like a wild animal!”

  Boy, did George wish he could listen to his dad. But he couldn’t. The burp was going wild. So George was going wild.

  Suddenly, George felt the rope start swinging back and forth.

  “A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” George’s mouth let out a loud yell as his body swung back and forth on the rope. “Me Tarzan! A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

  “Oh, this is bad,” Alex muttered. George’s hands let go of the rope and banged at his chest like Tarzan. “A-ha-ha . . . WHOA!” he shouted as he fell straight down onto the mesh net stretched out below him.

  A bunch of soldiers were crawling under the net on their bellies. George flipped and flopped as the soldiers crept beneath him. He looked like a fish caught in a net. Flip. Flop. Flip.

  “George, get over here!” his father shouted up to him. “That’s an order!”

  Ordinarily, George would never ignore a direct order from his dad. But George wasn’t in charge right now. The super burp was. And burps don’t take orders from anyone. Not even sergeants in the US Army!

  George’s arms and legs scrambled off the net. He started running toward the tall tower. And the next thing he knew, George was climbing the tower alongside the soldiers. Higher and higher he climbed. And then . . .

  POP! George felt something burst in his belly. All the air rushed out of him. It was as though someone had popped a balloon inside of him. The magical super burp was gone.

  But George was still there, on the side of the tower. He looked down and gulped.

  The ground was very far away. George opened his mouth to yell, “HELP!” And that’s exactly what came out.

  “I gotcha, kid,” one of the soldiers said. He grabbed George around the middle, carried him down from the tower, and hurried him over to where George’s dad was standing.

  “Th-thanks,” George stammered as the soldier placed him back on solid ground and saluted.

  George’s dad saluted back. “Thank you, Private,” he told him.

  “You’re welcome, sir,” the private said.

  “George, what were you thinking?” his father asked him. “You could have been killed up there. I don’t understand what gets into you sometimes.”

  George didn’t answer. He knew the truth. It wasn’t what got into him. It was what burst out of him. Stupid burp. It was always getting him in trouble.

  “I’m sorry,” George told his dad.

  “Not yet you aren’t,” George’s dad insisted angrily. “But you will be, later. Come with me, boys.”

  “Wow!” George gasped as his dad led them into a giant room. He’d forgotten all about the obstacle course. It was hard to think about ropes and nets, or even burps, when you were standing right in fro
nt of a giant helicopter.

  “I’ve never seen one of these up close,” Alex said.

  George looked up at the propellers. They were massive. Now this was impressive.

  “Do you think this helicopter is too big to fit in the school gym?” he asked his dad.

  George’s dad laughed. “Yeah, I think it might be,” he said. “But I can bring pictures of helicopters to Career Day.”

  George frowned. Pictures of army helicopters weren’t nearly as cool as the real thing.

  Just then, a soldier whose uniform had the same sergeant stripes as George’s dad’s walked over to where the boys were standing. “Are these my next passengers?” she asked George’s dad.

  Alex’s eyes popped wide open. “Are you kidding?” he asked. “Yes, please, pick me!”

  “Your mom signed a permission slip for this yesterday,” George’s dad said with a grin. “We kept it a surprise.”

  A huge smile broke out across George’s face. He wasn’t thinking about his bet with Louie now. All he could think about was the fact that he and Alex were going to be up in the air in a real live US Army helicopter.

  That’s probably the coolest thing that could ever happen to a kid. He couldn’t wait to be up there in the sky, looking down at all of Beaver Brook. He was so happy he felt like he could burst.

  “Did you sign my permission slip, Dad?” George asked his father.

  George’s dad looked down at him and shook his head. “I did. But I’ve changed my mind. After what you did at the obstacle course, you’re not going for a helicopter ride. I’ve got another army experience for you. It’s something you’re never going to forget.”

  “You’re sure you’re not angry that I got to go for a ride in the helicopter and you didn’t?” Alex asked George the next day as the boys walked up the path toward Alex’s mom’s dental office.