Burp or Treat . . . Smell My Feet! Read online

  “I’m coming to your party, Louie,” Mike said.

  “I was just going to say that,” Max told Mike.

  “Yeah, well, I said it first,” Mike told Max. He turned to Louie. “I bet I’m the first one to say I was coming, right?”

  “Yep, you are,” Louie told Mike.

  “Well, I would have been first, if you hadn’t butted in and said it before I did,” Max told Mike.

  George rolled his eyes. This was the dumbest conversation he’d ever heard.

  Luckily, at just that moment, Julianna came walking over. Boy, was George happy to see her.

  But Julianna didn’t look happy. She was scowling. And she had her arms crossed over her chest.

  “What’s with you?” George asked her.

  Julianna shrugged. “I’m in a bad mood.”

  Louie handed her an invitation. “This will cheer you up,” he said. “It’s an invitation to my Halloween party Sunday night.”

  “Sunday’s Halloween,” Max said as if he’d just figured it out.

  “The perfect night for a Halloween party,” Mike said. “Good thinking, Louie.”

  Julianna shrugged and stuck the invitation in her backpack. “Thanks.”

  “You didn’t even look at it,” Louie told her. “It’s an amazing invitation. There’s a witch with glow-in-the-dark eyes on the front.”

  “I’ll look at it later,” Julianna promised.

  Louie frowned and pulled out some more envelopes. “I have to go give these to the people lucky enough to be invited to my party. I’m sure they’ll be more excited than you are.”

  As Louie skated off, with Max and Mike trailing behind, George stared curiously at Julianna. “You look miserable,” he told her.

  “What happened?” Alex asked.

  “My parents called from Russia last night,” Julianna replied.

  “That should make you happy,” Chris said.

  “Usually it does,” Julianna agreed. “But this time it was awful. My mother said we had to clean up the house.”

  George looked at her strangely. “That’s not so bad,” he said. “I’m always having to clean up stuff. Probably because I’m always making messes.”

  “Yeah,” Chris said. “You should have heard my mom when I spilled all my paints. She was really mad. But then I cleaned it up and everything was okay again.”

  “Same thing happened when my last science experiment exploded in the kitchen,” Alex told her. “We all have to clean up sometimes.”

  Julianna frowned. “It’s not the cleaning that’s so awful,” she explained to the boys. “It’s why I have to clean that’s the problem. My parents said that my sister and I have to clean the house because some people are going to be coming by on Friday.”

  “So you have to clean for company?” Alex said. “That’s no biggie.”

  “They’re not company,” Julianna told him. “These people are coming to see my house because they might want to buy it.”

  “What did you say when your parents told you that?” Alex asked.

  “I didn’t say anything, because they didn’t tell me,” Julianna said. “I overheard my grandma telling them that the house would be in perfect shape when the real estate agent came. That’s how I know what’s happening.”

  George gulped. Now he understood why Julianna looked so sad. It was the same look he got on his face whenever his dad told him they were going to move. He was willing to bet she had the same pit in her stomach, too. George’s dad was in the army, so his family had moved around a lot. Moving was the worst. You had to say good-bye to all your friends.

  This was the first time in a long time that George wasn’t the one who was moving away. But that didn’t make him feel any better. Having to say good-bye to Julianna was really going to stink. She was one of his best friends. And she was the best pitcher on the fourth-grade baseball team. The whole school needed her.

  “We can’t let this happen!” George exclaimed.

  “I don’t think there’s any way to stop it,” Julianna told him. “The people are coming Friday to look at the house.”

  “There’s gotta be a way,” George told her. “I don’t know what it is, yet. But I’ll think of something.”

  “And, of course, we’re going to bob for apples,” Louie announced at the lunch table later that day. “And then there’s the piñata I told you about. We’re going to have a contest for the best costume, too. My costume is going to be incredible. You guys are lucky my mom said I can’t win since it’s my party. And my brother, Sam, is letting me use his iPod for the music, which is great because nobody has cooler songs on their iPod than Sam . . .”

  George shook his head. He really couldn’t listen to Louie blab on and on about his party anymore. He was too bummed about Julianna. She was sitting there, just staring at her lunch.

  Every now and then, she would poke at her macaroni and cheese with her fork and sigh.

  “Any ideas yet, George?” Chris asked.

  “Not yet,” George admitted. Then he looked over at Julianna and smiled. “But I’m not giving up.”

  “You’re lucky, Julianna,” Sage said.

  Julianna stared at her. “Lucky?” she asked. “How can you say that?”

  “Because Georgie is helping you,” Sage said. She turned to George and batted her eyelashes up and down. “ Georgie is really smart. He can solve anything.” George really hated when Sage called him Georgie. It was embarrassing. Sage was a real pain. She was also really wrong. This seemed to be the one problem George had no clue how to solve. The one problem besides his burp, that is!

  “It stinks that your house is so cool,” Alex said. “If there was something wrong with it, no one would want to buy it.”

  “That’s true,” Chris agreed. “It’s too bad you don’t have termites or a leaky roof.”

  “I wouldn’t want to live in a house with termites,” Sage said. “Think about how creepy it would be sleeping in a house that’s being eaten by bugs.”

  Suddenly, George’s eyes lit up. “That’s it!” he exclaimed.

  “What’s it?” Alex, Chris, Julianna, and Sage all asked him.

  “I know how we’re going to stop your parents from selling that house!” George said. “We’re going to make your house so creepy no one will ever want to live there.”

  “You’re not going to turn a bunch of termites loose, are you?” Julianna asked. “Because then even I wouldn’t want to live there.”

  George shook his head. “Nope. No termites. We’re gonna . . .”

  “I don’t believe you guys!” Louie interrupted angrily. “How can you talk about Julianna’s house at a time like this?”

  “A time like what?” Alex asked.

  “A time when I’m about to throw the biggest, best Halloween party ever!” Louie exclaimed. “I’ve been telling you all about it. But not one of you was listening to me.”

  George couldn’t argue with that. He hadn’t heard much of what Louie had said.

  “I listened,” Max assured Louie. “I heard every word you said.”

  “Me too,” Mike agreed. “You told us we were gonna break open apples, and bob for piñatas, and—”

  “That’s not right,” Max interrupted. “He said that there’s gonna be a contest for the best apple. And we’re going to break-dance to music and—”

  “Break-dance?” Louie asked. “I didn’t say anything about break dancing. I said break a piñata. And bob for apples.”

  “Oh right,” Max said. “Sorry, Louie.”

  “Tell us again,” Mike added. “I’ll listen better this time.”

  George didn’t hear the rest of Louie, Mike, and Max’s conversation. He was thinking about something more important. There was a plan hatching in George’s brain. He couldn’t wait to get started on Operation Save Julianna’s House!


  “I figure nobody would want to buy a haunted house,” George told Julianna, Chris, and Alex as they sat on the steps outside the school at the end of the day. “So, we’re going to make your house haunted.”

  Julianna gave him a funny look. “How?” she asked him. “It’s not like you can go to the store and buy a ghost.”

  “We’re going to be the ghosts,” George explained.

  “Oh, I get it,” Alex said. “We’re going to turn Julianna’s house into the kind of haunted house you see at a carnival.”

  “Exactly,” George said. “Creepy noises, cobwebs, wind blowing even though the windows are closed . . .”

  “We can use some of my remote-controlled toys,” Alex added. “I could rig it up so something scary runs across the floor. Like a rat.”

  “And a black cat,” George suggested. “It’s bad luck if one of those crosses your path. No one will want to move into a house with bad luck.”

  “I could make a spooky painting with glow-in-the-dark paint,” Chris added.

  “Perfect,” George said. “And considering how much creepy stuff is already in Julianna’s house—”

  “Hey!” Julianna interrupted.

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” George explained. “The stuff in your house is creepy-cool. The stuff we do will be creepy-scary.”

  “Scary enough to frighten away the people who want to buy my house?” Julianna asked.

  “Yes,” George replied. “We’ll make sure of it.”

  “Check it out!” George exclaimed as he walked into the classroom the next morning. “Skulls.” He picked up the small skeleton head that was sitting on his desk. It was a little bigger than his fist.

  “They’re made of sugar,” Sage said as she examined the skull on her desk. “Sweet like you, Georgie.”

  George rolled his eyes. He really wished she would stop calling him that.

  “What’s this all about?” Mike asked, poking a skull.

  “I have no idea,” Max said. “Let’s ask Louie.”

  Louie stared at his two friends. “Skeleton heads. It’s about Halloween. Duh. I swear you two are just as empty-headed as these sugary skulls.”

  George laughed. That was actually a pretty funny one, even if it came from Louie.

  “I know what these are for,” Alex said. “We’re celebrating the Mexican Day of the Dead.”

  “Very good, Alex,” Mrs. Kelly said as she walked into the classroom.

  The kids all stared at their teacher. She was dressed in a witch’s hat and cape. In her hand she was carrying a broom.

  “We’re also celebrating Walpurgis Night,” Mrs. Kelly explained. “Which is Witch Night in Germany. And Chinese Hungry Ghost Night. See how I placed those pieces of bread and a glass of water in front of a picture of some of my old relatives?”

  The kids all stared at their teacher. George gulped. He wondered what was coming next. Usually when Mrs. Kelly started doing something this weird, it involved dancing. Mrs. Kelly loved to dance. George hated it.

  “These are festive celebrations from around the world,” Mrs. Kelly explained. “Even though not every country celebrates on October thirty-first like we do, all the holidays are very similar.”

  “So do we get to eat these candy skulls?” Max asked her.

  “Well, you’re going to decorate them first,” Mrs. Kelly said. “I have icing and all sorts of candies you can use. I’ve laid everything out on the table in the back of the room.”

  George turned around. Sure enough there were small plastic bowls of icing and bowls of jelly beans, candy mints, licorice strings, Red Hots, and lemon drops just waiting for them. It looked like a real life version of the Candy Land game. He couldn’t wait to dig his hands into all those sweets!

  Mrs. Kelly held up a sugar skull she had already decorated. It was covered in candy and icing and looked delicious!

  “Let’s get to it!” George exclaimed excitedly.

  “We will,” Mrs. Kelly said. “But first, we’re going to play snap apple.”

  “What’s that?” Sage asked.

  “It’s a Halloween game from Ireland, the place where Halloween began,” Mrs. Kelly explained as she pulled a bag of apples out from under her desk. “These apples are all attached to strings. I’m going to hang the apples in the doorway. Each of you will get a chance to try to grab an apple in your mouth—without using your hands.”

  “That’s kind of like bobbing for apples without water,” Louie said.

  “Exactly,” Mrs. Kelly replied.

  “At my party, we’re going to do it with water,” Louie said.

  “I think you’ll like grabbing the apples in your mouth this way, Louie,” Mrs. Kelly assured him. “It’s fun!”

  Louie didn’t look so sure.

  At the moment, George wasn’t having too much fun, either. It was hard to have fun when you felt something bubbly bouncing in your belly.

  Bing-bong. Ping-pong. The burp was back. And it was going wild trying to make its way out of George’s belly. Already the bubbles were itching his intestines and creeping up his colon.

  Zing-zang! Cling-clang! The bubbles were moving fast. George had to stop them. He had to force that super burp back down before it exploded right out of him.

  So George did the only thing he could think of. He leaped up out of his seat and started swirling around and around, trying to force those bubbles down to his feet the same way toilet water swirled down the drain when you flushed!

  “George, what are you doing?” Mrs. Kelly asked. “Please sit down.”

  George wanted to sit down. He really did. But he couldn’t. Because if he stopped swirling, the bubbles would move back up through his body and out of his mouth. And if that burp got loose, there was no telling what it might do!

  Whirl. Swirl. Twirl. The bubbles started going down the drain!

  “George Brown, sit down!” Mrs. Kelly shouted. “This is no time for crazy dancing.” The teacher stopped and shook her head. “I can’t believe I just said that,” she remarked.

  But George kept spinning. The bubbles hit his hips. They threaded around his thighs. They knocked against his knees. Down, down, down they went. It was working! George twirled faster and faster and faster. Clank. Clunk. The bubbles kicked at his calves.

  Spin. Spin. Spin. George twirled toward the back of the room. Past Julianna’s desk. Past Sage’s desk.

  “Look at Georgie go!” Sage squealed.

  Spin. Spin. Spin. He whirled through the reading corner.

  Spin. Spin. Spin. He swirled over toward the bowls of icing and candy Mrs. Kelly had set up in the back of the room.

  Spin. Spin . . . Pop! Suddenly, George felt something burst in the bottom of his belly. He’d done it! He’d squelched the belch!

  Whoa . . .

  But George couldn’t celebrate his victory. The room was still spinning, even though George wasn’t moving at all.

  “I’m so dizzy,” George groaned.

  The room kept spinning. George took a step. His body swayed back and forth.

  Slam! George lost his balance, and fell face-first—right into a big bowl of gooey blue icing. Uh-oh.

  “George!” Mrs. Kelly exclaimed.

  George picked up his blue head, and looked at his teacher. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “Georgie, you look like a sugar skull.” Sage giggled. “I could just eat you up.”

  George rolled his eyes and groaned.

  “We can’t eat any of the blue icing now,” Louie complained. “It’s got George germs in it.”

  “It’s okay, Louie,” Mrs. Kelly assured him. “We have lots of other colors.” Then she gave George a stern look.

  “Go wash your face. And then you can come back, and sit at your desk, and study this week’s spelling list.”

  �
��But what about making a sugar skull?” George asked. “Don’t I get to . . .”

  “I’m sorry, George,” Mrs. Kelly interrupted him. “After what just happened, I don’t think you deserve to be part of the sugar-skull fun. I know you’re excited about Halloween, but this was not the time or place to go crazy.”

  George frowned. It wasn’t his fault. But he couldn’t tell his teacher that. He’d just have to suffer the consequences. Again.

  “I’ve rigged up a remote-controlled black cat that can cross right in the path of the people who are thinking about buying your house,” Alex told Julianna later that day as the kids sat at their lunch table in the cafeteria. “And two remote-controlled rats. That’ll scare them!”

  George flicked a piece of hardened blue icing out of his nose and rubbed it on his napkin. “I have lots of dust bunnies under my bed,” George added. “We can hang them from some of the shelves in the house. Haunted houses always have lots of dust around.”

  “I’ve got dust bunnies, too,” Chris said. “I’ll bring them over. My mom will be glad to get rid of them. And I’m working hard on my painting,” he continued. “I’m drawing the eyes so it seems like they follow you around the room. I learned how to do it from an art book my dad gave me.”

  “Georgie, your idea is brilliant,” Sage said. She batted her eyelashes up and down. “You’re brilliant.”

  “STOP! STOP! STOP!” Louie shouted suddenly.

  George stared at him. He couldn’t believe it. He’d been wanting to tell Sage to stop calling him Georgie. And here, Louie had just done it for him.

  “Stop talking about Julianna’s house,” Louie continued.

  Or maybe not.

  “There’s something much more important happening,” Louie continued.

  “What could be more important than my family moving?” Julianna wanted to know.

  “My party,” Louie said. He sounded as if he couldn’t believe she was even asking. “Halloween is almost here, and no one is even thinking about what costume to wear to my party. And you’re going to be sorry, because the prizes my mom is getting for the costume contest are really, really expensive!”