Attack of the Tighty Whities! Read online

  “What’s he doing?” Chris asked.

  Now Louie was standing with the other kids and Mrs. Kelly. “He’s freaking out,” Louie told Chris. “Just like always.”

  George jumped into the bed of flowers and began dancing around on his tiptoes like a crazed ballerina. He yanked a flower out of the ground and stuck it behind his ear.

  “Earwax,” he said. “E-a-r-w-a-x.”

  “George, get out of there!”

  George’s ears recognized his father’s voice. He sounded mad.

  George wanted to get away from the flowers. He really did. But he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried.

  Instead, he picked another flower and put it up to his nose to take a sniff.

  “Achoo!” George’s nose sneezed. Green, slimy boogers flew out of his nose.

  “Booger,” he said. “B-o-o-g-e-r.”

  George’s arms reached up into the air as he danced. George’s nose took a sniff at his pits. Pee-yew! They did not smell flowery.

  “Stinky,” he said. “S-t-i-n-k-y.”

  “You’re getting your new pants all dirty.”

  That was George’s mother. She sounded even madder than his dad.

  Just then, George heard something else.

  Bzzzzzzzz. It was a bee. And not a spelling bee, either. This was the kind of bee that—STUNG!

  The bee’s stinger went right into George’s rear end.

  Whoosh! At just that moment George felt something pop deep in the bottom of his belly. All the wind rushed out of him.

  The super burp was gone. Wow! Did his rear hurt!

  George opened his mouth to shout, “Ouch!” And that was exactly what came out.

  A few minutes later, George was up on the stage with the other contestants. His rear end was very sore. But so what? He was still one lean, mean spelling machine. And he wasn’t burping.

  “Okay, let’s start this spelling bee,” the moderator said. “We’ll begin with George Brown from Edith B. Sugarman Elementary School. George, your word is skeleton.”

  Oh good, George thought. An easy one. “Skeleton,” he said. “S-k-e-l-e-t-o-n.”

  “Correct,” the moderator said.

  George smiled.

  “Our next word is for Howard Harriman from Dwingledorf Elementary,” the moderator said. “Howard, your word is homonym.”

  Howard looked nervous. “Homonym. H-o-m-o-n-i-m,” he spelled.

  “I’m sorry,” the moderator said. “That is incorrect.”

  George tried hard not to smile. That would be acting like a bad sport. And if there was anything the new, improved George was, it was a good s-p-o-r-t.

  By the end of the fifth round, it was down to three spellers: George, Carlton, and a short girl with long, black hair named Mei Lee.

  “Okay, George,” the moderator said. “Spell camera.”

  “Camera,” George repeated. “C-a-m-e-r-a. Camera.”

  “Correct,” the moderator told him.

  Alex, Julianna, and Chris all cheered. Louie just sat there and glared at George. It was like he wanted him to lose.

  “Mei, your word is whistle,” the moderator said.

  Mei Lee took a deep breath. “W-h-i-s-l-e,” she spelled. “Whistle.”

  Uh-oh. Mei Lee had forgotten the silent t in whistle. You had to be careful with that one.

  “I’m sorry,” the moderator said. “That is incorrect.”

  Mei Lee looked like she was going to cry as she walked off the stage.

  “Carlton, it’s your turn,” the moderator told the curly-haired boy standing next to George. “Can you spell whistle correctly?”

  Carlton gulped. Big beads of sweat formed on his forehead. This could be it. Carlton was folding under the pressure.

  “Whistle. W-h-i-s-t-l-e,” Carlton spelled. His voice cracked a little. “Whistle.”

  George frowned. Darn it. This Carlton kid was really good.

  “Correct,” the moderator said. She turned to George. “Your word is vaporize.”

  Uh-oh. That wasn’t a word George had studied. He closed his eyes and tried to picture the word. But it was hard to concentrate. His rear end still hurt. And even through his closed eyes, George could feel Louie glaring at him, wishing he would lose. But he could also feel his friends and parents staring at him, wishing he would win.

  “Vaporize,” George said slowly. “V-a-p-u-r-i-z-e. Vaporize.”

  The moderator took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That is incorrect.”

  There was a gasp in the crowd.

  Now George knew how Mei Lee felt. It stunk to get this close and still lose. Of course he hadn’t lost yet. Carlton could still spell the word wrong, and then there would be another round.

  “Carlton, can you spell vaporize?” the moderator asked.

  Carlton took a deep breath. “Vaporize,” he repeated. “V-a-p-o-r-i-z-e. Vaporize.”

  “Correct,” the moderator said. “That means Carlton is our winner!”

  “That’s a cool trophy,” Alex told George a few minutes later when everyone was standing in the lobby of the community center.

  George’s second-place trophy wasn’t as big as the one Carlton was carrying around, but it was still pretty nice.

  Julianna held up her video camera. “I want to show some footage on Monday’s sportscast,” she explained. “Nobody from Sugarman has ever come in second before.”

  “I’m proud of you, son,” his father told him. “You did a great job.”

  His mom gave him a squeeze. “Me too,” she said.

  “I’m sorry about . . . before,” George told his parents and friends.

  “It’s okay,” his mom said. “We all do weird things when we’re nervous.”

  “Yeah, that’s what it was,” Alex said. “Nerves.”

  George smiled. Good old Alex. He was always there to cover for him.

  Just then, Mrs. Kelly began dancing around in a circle. She raised her hands high. She moved her hands low. She spun around. She was doing a cheer. “Congratulations, George Brown, on your glorious victory! Congratulations, George Brown. You’re a great speller, we all can see.”

  George laughed. Mrs. Kelly was definitely weird. W-e-i-r-d. Just then, George caught a glimpse of Louie. He was with his family, mouthing something at him. George tried to read his lips.

  “Loser,” Louie mouthed. “Loser.”

  George pretended he couldn’t figure out what Louie was trying to tell him.

  Just then, Louie’s brother, Sam, started walking over to George. He shook George’s hand. “Great job,” he said. “You spelled a whole lot of hard words.” Sam looked over at his brother. “Right, Louie?”

  “Uh . . . yeah . . . ,” Louie told his brother. “I was just gonna say that.”

  Just then, George felt something weird brewing in his body. He shut his mouth tight. There was no way he was letting any burp make him go all crazy again!

  “Are you okay?” Sam asked George.

  George nodded. He tried to keep his lips shut tight. But suddenly . . .

  Hiccup. A hiccup slipped from his lips. George just stood there.

  “Hiccup,” he said again. Louie started laughing at him. But George didn’t care. Let Louie laugh. Anyone could get hiccups. They were nice and normal. And harmless.

  Not like super burps. George rubbed his tush. The bee sting still hurt. Super burps were a major pain in the you-know-where!

  About the Author

  Nancy Krulik is the author of more than 150 books for children and young adults including three New York Times best sellers and the popular Katie Kazoo, Switcheroo books. She lives in New York City with her family, and many of George Brown’s escapades are based on things her own kids
have done. (No one delivers a good burp quite like Nancy’s son, Ian!) Nancy’s favorite thing to do is laugh, which comes in pretty handy when you’re trying to write funny books!

  About the Illustrator

  Aaron Blecha was raised by a school of giant squid in Wisconsin and now lives with his family by the English seaside. He works as an artist designing toys, animating cartoons, and illustrating books, including the Zombiekins and The Rotten Adventures of Zachary Ruthless series. You can enjoy more of his weird creations at www.monstersquid.com.