I Hate Rules! Read online

  Mr. Kane? Was it possible? Had the magic wind actually turned Katie into the school principal?

  Katie looked down. Instead of her T-shirt with the heart on it, she was wearing a white shirt and a navy blue striped tie. Her skirt was gone, too. A pair of gray wool slacks was in its place.

  Katie reached up and touched her head. There was a big bald spot where her hair used to be. And when she opened her mouth to speak, a man’s deep voice came out. “Katie? I . . . um . . . well . . . I don’t know where she is,” she told George.

  “You mean she skipped out on her punishment?” George sounded impressed.

  “I’d better go find her,” Katie said quickly. She ran out of the cafeteria and into the hall.

  The hallway was very noisy. The kids were coming back inside from recess.

  “Hey, Mr. Kane,” a fifth-grader named Sam greeted her.

  “Hello,” Katie said in her deep voice.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Kane.” Ms. Lobel, a kindergarten teacher, stopped Katie. “Do we still have that faculty meeting after school?”

  Katie didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know anything about faculty meetings. “I . . . uh . . . I’ll have to check,” she said quickly.

  Before she could take another step, Mr. Bloom, a second-grade teacher, came up to her. “Mr. Kane, were you able to look at my supply request form yet?”

  “Supply request form?” Katie asked him. She’d never heard of one of those.

  Mr. Bloom looked upset. “I really need those extra notebooks,” he said.

  “I guess you should get them, then,” Katie told him nervously.

  “You have to sign the form,” Mr. Bloom reminded her. “I’ll come by for it later.”

  Katie knew she had to get out of the hallway before she bumped into anyone else. Everyone thought she was Mr. Kane. They expected her to act like a real principal. But Katie had absolutely no idea what a real principal did.

  Katie needed a place to hide until the magic wind came and turned her back into herself. But where could she go?

  Just then, Mrs. Davidson, the school secretary, poked her head out of the office. “Mr. Kane,” she said, “I left your messages on your desk.”

  That was it! Katie could hide out in Mr. Kane’s office. After all, she was the principal.

  “Um, thank you,” Katie said, trying to sound very principal-like. “I’ll get them now.” She dashed into Mr. Kane’s office and shut the door.

  Katie sat down behind Mr. Kane’s big wooden desk and breathed a sigh of relief. At least no one could get to her in here.

  She looked around the office. There were crowded bookshelves and stacks of paper everywhere. It looked kind of like Katie’s dad’s office, except Mr. Kane had wind-up toys on the windowsill, and there was a glass jar filled with chocolates on his desk.

  Katie took one of the candies and popped it in her mouth. She leaned back in Mr. Kane’s big leather chair and let the chocolate melt on her tongue. This wasn’t so bad. She had plenty of snacks to eat, and toys to play with. As long as she stayed in Mr. Kane’s office, she couldn’t get into any trouble.

  Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Katie was actually going to be in a lot of trouble—as soon as Mrs. Derkman noticed that she wasn’t in class. Katie didn’t know what the punishment was for that, but she bet it was pretty bad. She was breaking a really big rule.

  Now Katie was really worried. What if Mrs. Derkman called her mother? What if she called the police? How would Katie ever be able to explain what had happened to her?

  Just then, Katie heard Mrs. Davidson’s voice come over the loudspeaker. “All students should be in class now.”

  That gave Katie a great idea. She knew how to make sure she wasn’t breaking any rules. Quickly, she leaped up from the chair and ran to the outer office.

  “I need to say something,” Katie told Mrs. Davidson as she grabbed for the microphone.

  “This is Mr. Kane,” Katie announced. “From now on, there is one rule in Cherrydale Elementary School. And that rule is . . . there are no rules!”

  Chapter 6

  At first, the whole school was completely silent. It was as if no one could believe what they had just heard. Then, suddenly, the classroom doors burst open. Kids raced into the halls.

  “We’re free!” a small girl with pigtails screamed out.

  “Last one on the playground is a rotten egg!” yelled a tall, skinny second-grader.

  “No rules, rules! No rules, rules! No rules, rules!” a group of fourth-graders chanted as they ran down the hall.

  As Katie peeked out of the school office, a crowd of fifth-grade girls spotted her. “Wow. It’s Mr. Kane!” they squealed. “Thank you! Thank you!”

  The students were treating Katie like some sort of rock star. As she strolled down the halls of the school, kids of all ages high-fived her. Some ran over to hug her. Katie smiled proudly. She was a hero.

  Well, at least the kids thought she was a hero. The teachers had a different idea.

  “Class 3A, come back here right now!” Mrs. Derkman shouted as her students streamed into the hallway. “It’s not recess!”

  But the kids didn’t come back. Why should they? There was no rule that said they had to be in class.

  “Mr. Kane!” Mrs. Derkman called out.

  At first Katie jumped. Mrs. Derkman’s angry voice scared her. Then Katie remembered. She was the principal. That made her Mrs. Derkman’s boss.

  Katie liked that idea a lot.

  “Yes, Mrs. Derkman?” Katie answered. She tried to sound very official.

  “What’s going on here?” Mrs. Derkman asked. “My class is going crazy.”

  “Relax,” Katie told the teacher. “They’re just having fun.”

  Before Mrs. Derkman could answer, a huge group of sixth-graders came running by at top speed. They were going so fast, they didn’t even see Mrs. Derkman standing in their path. Whoosh. The teacher was swept away with the crowd.

  “We’ll talk about this later, Mr. Kane,” Mrs. Derkman shouted as the sixth-grade mob pushed her down the hall.

  Katie chuckled as she walked into the cafeteria. She peeked her head into the room. George was still the only kid there. But he wasn’t struggling with math homework anymore. He was eating chocolate cake. Lots of chocolate cake.

  Usually kids were only allowed one dessert with lunch. Right now, George had at least ten pieces in front of him. And lunchtime had been over a long time ago.

  “Looks like you’re having fun,” Katie said to George.

  “Mmmph. Phllmph.” George mumbled through a mouthful of cake. Every time he opened his mouth, more wet, half-eaten chocolate crumbs poured out.

  Watching George talk and chew was really gross. “Don’t speak, George,” Katie told him. “Just eat.”

  George gave her a big, chocolatey smile, then dove into his next slice of cake.

  Suddenly, a whole group of kids came racing into the cafeteria. Jeremy was at the front of the crowd. He held a soccer ball in his hands.

  “Where are you all going?” Katie asked them.

  “To the yard, Mr. Kane,” Jeremy explained with a huge smile. “We’re going to play soccer all afternoon.”

  “Have fun!” Katie told him. She was glad she could make her best friend so happy.

  Just then Katie heard laughing—and crying—coming from the computer lab across the hall. She raced to see what was happening.

  Inside the lab, Suzanne, Mandy, Zoe, and Miriam were all staring at a picture on one of the computer screens. Suzanne, Mandy, and Miriam were smiling. Zoe was crying.

  “What’s wrong, Zoe?” Katie asked.

  “Oh, don’t worry about her, Mr. Kane,”

  Suzanne said. “She always gets that way when she thinks about the Bayside Boys.”

  “We’re looking at their official website,” Mandy explained. “They just added a bunch of new pictures.”

  “Sammy looks so cute with curly hair,” Zoe sobbed. “And J.T. is wearing the mos
t adorable shorts!”

  “Really? Let me see!” Katie said excitedly. She edged Miriam over so she could get a better look at the screen.

  The girls gave Katie a strange look.

  “You like the Bayside Boys, Mr. Kane?” Suzanne asked.

  Oops. Katie had almost forgotten that she was the principal. It must have seemed really weird to the girls that a grown man would be so interested in a pop group.

  “No. I mean . . . well . . . um . . . gotta go!” Katie said quickly. She dashed out of the computer lab just as Kevin and Manny came running in.

  “Mr. Kane, you’re my favorite grown-up,” Kevin said.

  “Yeah. We’re going to play Castle Craze now,” Manny added. “It’s so cool to be able to play computer games at school.”

  “Have a great time,” she told the boys. “Remember, the best way to get to the fourth level is to capture the magic dragon.”

  “Wow!” Kevin exclaimed as Katie walked away. “Mr. Kane knows how to play Castle Craze. How cool!”

  “He’s awesome,” Manny agreed.

  Katie smiled to herself. She didn’t know when the magic wind was going to blow and turn her back into herself. But whenever that happened, Mr. Kane would be really happy. Katie had made him the most popular principal in the whole history of principals. The kids were so happy. Cherrydale Elementary School was the best school in the country. Maybe even in the whole world!

  “Owwww.” Just then Katie heard George’s voice. It sounded like he was in pain.

  “Help me,” he groaned. “Please.”

  Chapter 7

  Katie found George in the hall just outside the nurse’s office. He was curled up in a ball, moaning.

  “What’s wrong?” Katie asked him.

  “My stomach hurts,” George answered. “I think I ate too much.”

  “How many pieces of chocolate cake did you have?”

  George made a face when Katie mentioned the cake. “I don’t know. Maybe thirteen or fourteen slices.”

  “George!” Katie shouted out. “That’s an awful lot of cake.”

  “Uh-oh,” George murmured. He grabbed his stomach. His face looked a bit green.

  Katie jumped out of the way. “Nurse Hanes,” she called out. “George needs help.”

  “So do the rest of these kids,” Nurse Hanes shouted from inside her office.

  Katie walked into the nurse’s office. There was a huge line of kids. Some had cuts and bruises. Others were sitting with ice packs on their knees and heads. “What’s going on?” Katie asked.

  “It’s this ‘no rules’ thing,” the nurse explained. “These kids were running in the halls and playing with all sorts of gym equipment. It was just a matter of time before someone got hurt. How am I going to take care of all these kids?”

  Katie was about to answer, when a first-grader ran up and pulled on her pants. “Mr. Kane, hurry. There’s gonna be a fight.”

  “A fight? Where?” Katie asked nervously.

  “On the soccer field,” the boy answered. “Jeremy’s real mad. So’s Ricky.”

  That wasn’t good. It took a lot to get Jeremy angry.

  Quickly, Katie grabbed a trash can and placed it near George’s head. “If you feel sick, use that. I gotta go.”

  Katie dashed out of the school. She could hear the boys screaming as she ran toward the soccer field. Coach G. was blowing his whistle over and over. The boys weren’t listening.

  “What’s going on?” Katie asked the gym teacher.

  “It’s the ‘no rules’ rule,” Coach G. told her. “It’s ruined the whole game.”

  Jeremy came running over. “Mr. Kane, can’t we just have rules for soccer?” he begged.

  “No way,” Ricky Dobbs argued. He looked up at Katie. “You said ‘no rules.’ That means no rules anywhere.”

  “But you’re using your hands in soccer,” Jeremy said. “You can’t do that unless you’re the goalie. And you’re not the goalie.”

  “There’s no rule saying I can’t use my hands. Not anymore,” Ricky argued.

  “You see what I mean?” Coach G. asked Katie. He handed her his whistle. “Maybe you should be the referee for this game. I can’t figure out who’s winning in a game with no rules.”

  Before Katie could answer, Suzanne came running out to the field. “Mr. Kane, you’d better come to the computer lab. We were using all the computers at once. Now none of the computers are working—and the lights are out all over the school.

  “Oh no!” Katie moaned. She followed Suzanne back into the dark school building. As she opened the door, a stream of green paint came flying toward her. It splattered all over Mr. Kane’s white shirt. Katie looked down at the stain. The principal wasn’t going to like this.

  “What’s going on in here?” Katie yelled.

  “Paint fight,” a sixth-grade girl named Justine told her. Justine ducked down to avoid being hit by a paint splatter. The red paint landed on Katie’s bald head instead.

  “How did this start?” Katie asked her.

  “We took some supplies from the art room, and went to paint in the cafeteria,” Justine explained. “Rachel’s paint wound up on Dylan’s jeans. So she painted his hair blue. After that, everyone got into it.”

  Katie sighed. This was not working out the way she’d thought it would. “Is the cafeteria a mess?” she asked.

  “Not too bad,” Justine answered. “There’s a little paint on the walls. The mural’s kind of messed up.”

  Oh, no. Not the mural Katie and her friends had worked so hard on! Katie felt like she was about to cry. But she couldn’t. Not here anyway. It wouldn’t be good for the kids to see their principal cry.

  Katie began running down the hall. She had to get to Mr. Kane’s office right away. She could be alone there.

  Whoosh! Katie slipped on a wet paint spot. She landed on her rear end and slid down the hall. A couple kids giggled.

  Katie didn’t feel like laughing at all.

  Chapter 8

  Katie raced into Mr. Kane’s office and slammed the door. She began to cry. It all was too much for a third-grade girl to handle. If only she were a real principal. Mr. Kane would know what to do. Katie was sure of it.

  Just then, a small breeze floated through the office. The warm air tickled the back of Katie’s neck. Katie reached over to grab the pile of papers on Mr. Kane’s desk. She didn’t want them to blow away.

  But the papers weren’t moving. Nothing in the office was.

  Katie knew what that meant. The magic wind was back!

  The wind began to grow stronger. It whipped around Katie so fast that it made a slight whistling sound as it blew. Katie was scared, but she didn’t cry. Instead, she called out, “Please, please, please let me turn back into me! I just want to be Katie Carew again!”

  Then the wind stopped suddenly. Katie looked around. She wasn’t in Mr. Kane’s office anymore. She was back in the cafeteria, where the whole mess had started.

  Of course the cafeteria didn’t look like it had back during recess. Now there were paint stains on the walls and pieces of cake ground into the floors.

  Katie looked down at her clothes. Instead of Mr. Kane’s white shirt and gray slacks, she was wearing her heart T-shirt and her skirt. She felt the top of her head. She had her hair. Good.

  Katie Carew was back.

  Just then, Suzanne came running up to her. “Where’ve you been, Katie?” she asked. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

  Katie wasn’t sure what to say. Suzanne wouldn’t believe the truth even if she told her. Who would?

  “Oh, I’ve been around,” Katie said finally.

  “This has been some crazy day,” Suzanne said. “Mr. Kane sure surprised everyone with this no rules thing.”

  Katie nodded. She had a feeling that no one was more surprised by it than Mr. Kane himself.

  “I’m just glad today’s over,” Katie told her. She began to walk toward the front door of the school. It was time to go home.
r />   “By the way, thanks for not telling Mr. Kane that the phone was mine,” Suzanne said, as the two girls walked outside.

  “It’s okay,” Katie assured her.

  “Maybe we should ask for my phone back,” Suzanne said as the girls left the school. “He said you could have it at the end of the day.”

  Katie looked over at the principal. He was sitting on the front steps of the building. He looked like a mess. The parents he was talking to seemed really angry.

  “I’d wait until tomorrow, Suzanne,” Katie suggested.

  “I don’t understand how you let this happen,” Katie heard Kevin’s mother say.

  “I’m not sure, either, Mrs. Camilleri,” Mr. Kane admitted.

  “Didn’t you tell the students there were no rules in school?” Mrs. Chan asked.

  Mr. Kane looked confused. “I don’t know. I mean, I must have. But I don’t really remember doing it.”

  “I think you need a rest, Mr. Kane,” Mrs. Dobbs said in an angry voice. “A long rest.”

  Katie gulped. Mrs. Dobbs was the president of the school’s PTA. If she was mad, Mr. Kane could be in real trouble.

  Chapter 9

  The next morning, things on the playground seemed really weird. No one was playing. No one was laughing. No one was saying a word. Instead, the kids were standing in straight lines.

  “What’s going on?” Katie asked Manny as she took a place in line.

  “Shhh,” Manny whispered. “Do you want to get us in trouble?”

  “Trouble?” Katie asked. “School hasn’t even started yet.”

  “You. Come here!” A tall, skinny man with a small moustache called out.

  “Who’s that?” Katie asked Manny.

  Before Manny could answer, the skinny man walked over to Katie. “Why are you talking?” he asked.

  Katie didn’t know what to say.

  “We have a new rule here, Miss,” the man said. “Students will line up quietly before school.”

  “Why?” Katie asked him.

  “Because I said so,” he replied. “And I’m your substitute principal, Mr. Ditherspoon. Everyone does what I want them to do.”