No Bones About It Page 2

  Jeremy threw his camera over to Manny. “Quick! Take this picture,” he told Manny.

  “Why did I ever get out of bed this morning?” Mr. Weir groaned as the flash went off right in his eyes.

  Seeing all those fake bugs on top of her students was worse than any nightmare Mrs. Derkman had ever had. “I was just thinking the same thing,” she murmured.

  The exhibit in the next room was of Native Americans. There was a wooden canoe in the middle of the room. Inside the canoe were four statues of Native Americans. They looked like they were paddling across a river.

  “Here are some examples of Native American weaving,” Mr. Weir told the class. He pointed to a glass cabinet filled with baskets and rugs.

  Katie studied the baskets. They were all very pretty, with interesting patterns woven into the straw. Suddenly, she heard some of the kids behind her laughing hysterically. Katie turned around to see what was so funny. She couldn’t believe her eyes!

  George Brennan was sitting in the back of the big canoe! He was pretending to be one of the statues. When George saw the class looking at him, he moved his arms back and forth, like he was paddling the canoe. “Hey, Kevin,” George shouted out. “Can you canoe?”

  “Sure,” Kevin answered. “Canoe? Get it?”

  The class laughed even harder. Jeremy took a picture of George paddling in the canoe.

  “Mrs. Derkman!” Katie pointed to the canoe. “Look what George is doing.”

  The teacher turned around quickly. “George Brennan, you will be up the creek without a paddle if you don’t get down from there right now!” Mrs. Derkman ordered sternly.

  George had heard Mrs. Derkman sound like that before. He knew she meant business. Quickly, he climbed out of the canoe. Then he strutted proudly over to where Manny and Kevin were standing.

  “That was classic, dude!” Manny said, giving George a high five.

  Mr. Weir wiped another bead of sweat from off his forehead. “Kids,” he muttered angrily under his breath.

  After that, George had to walk beside Mrs. Derkman. “Thanks a lot, goodie-goodie,” he whispered to Katie as the class entered the mineral and gemstone room.

  “It’s not my fault,” Katie told him. “You were the one who climbed in the canoe.”

  “But you’re the one who told on me,” George snapped back.

  “Mrs. Derkman would have seen you, anyway. Everyone saw you,” Katie told him.

  “This room is filled with precious and semiprecious gems. We also have ordinary minerals from all over the world,” Mr. Weir told the class.

  “Do you have rubies?” Miriam asked him. “That’s my birthstone.”

  “How about diamonds?” Mandy asked.

  “I know where you can find the biggest diamonds,” George interrupted. “On a baseball field!”

  The kids laughed.

  Mr. Weir rolled his eyes and looked at his watch.

  “Are there any star sapphires in your collection?” Suzanne asked. “I love them. My mother has a dark blue one that she wears on a chain around her neck. My grandmother . . .”

  “How about charcoal?” Kevin interrupted. He made his voice high and squeaky to sound like a girl’s. “I adore charcoal. Look at my charcoal ring.” He held out his hand to show everyone his imaginary ring.

  Some of the boys started to laugh.

  “Don’t make fun of Suzanne,” Katie said, standing up for her best friend.

  “Oh, what a goodie-goodie,” Kevin told her.

  “I am not,” Katie insisted.

  “If I could actually say something . . .” Mr. Weir began.

  But before Mr. Weir could finish his sentence, Manny shouted out from across the room. “Hey, you guys. Check this out!”

  Everyone turned around. Manny was sitting on top of a huge slab of polished jade.

  “Get down from there!” Mr. Weir shouted.

  “Okay,” Manny agreed. “Wheeeeeeeeee!” He slid down the slab of jade like it was the slide in the playground.

  Mr. Weir took out a handkerchief and wiped the back of his neck. “Is it getting warm in here?” he asked nervously.

  “Perhaps we should try the North American Wildlife room,” Mrs. Derkman suggested. She began to lead the class away from the rock and mineral room.

  “I’m so mad at Manny,” Miriam moaned as the class left the mineral and gemstone room. “I wanted to see a real ruby.”

  Katie frowned. “You were right, Suzanne,” she said. “Boys can be real pains. I can’t believe Manny did that.”

  Suzanne shrugged. “Actually, I thought he was pretty funny. But I can see why you’d be upset by it, seeing as you’re a goodie-goodie and all.”

  Chapter 5

  Suzanne’s comment upset Katie. But she was even more upset about what was in the North American Wildlife room. There, the kids came face to face with bears, mountain lions, and buffalo. Unfortunately, all of the animals were dead and stuffed. They were part of giant dioramas. And, unlike the mummies, these were all real. Or, at least, they once were!

  That made Katie very sad. She loved animals. She had a cocker spaniel, Pepper, who she’d raised ever since he was a pup. Katie and Pepper were always together—except when she was in school or at the mall. Dogs weren’t allowed there.

  Katie was also a vegetarian. She would never eat anything that had once had a face. Now, here she was in a room full of animals that had been hunted and put on display. It was awful!

  Suzanne noticed that Katie was upset. “You should just walk right out of here,” she told her. “It could be your way of protesting the killing of innocent animals.”

  Kevin overheard Suzanne. “Katie couldn’t do that,” he said. “She’s too much of a goodie-goodie to break the rules.”

  Suzanne nodded. “You’re right,” she agreed. Then she turned to Katie. “Maybe you should just close your eyes until we leave.”

  Katie wasn’t sure what made her angrier—the dead animals or the way her friends were teasing her about being a goodie-goodie. She had to do something. But what?

  The class stopped in front of a stuffed brown bear. Mr. Weir began to speak. “This is the grizzly bear. It lives . . .”

  Suddenly, the bear seemed to speak. “Let me out!”

  Mr. Weir jumped back. “Who said that?” he demanded.

  “Animals have feelings!” the bear bellowed angrily. “How would you like to be stuffed and put in here? ROAR!”

  Just then, a little girl looking up at the bear burst into tears. “Mommy, that bear roared at me!” she cried.

  The girl wasn’t the only toddler in the room. Once she started crying, a pair of twin boys in a double stroller joined in. “No like bears!” one of them sobbed.

  “Me, neither,” cried his brother.

  “WAAAAHHHHH!” The girl was really wailing now.

  The sound of the shrieking toddlers really upset Mr. Weir. With each cry, his face turned redder and redder. More sweat built up on his forehead. A thick blue vein popped out on his neck.

  Flash! Jeremy took a picture of Mr. Weir. “That one’s a classic!” he laughed.

  Mr. Weir glared at Jeremy. Then he eyed the rest of the kids in class 3A suspiciously. “Which of you wild animals made that bear speak?” he demanded.

  George burst out laughing. “Good one, Katie Kazoo!” he cheered.

  Everyone turned toward Katie. She smiled proudly.

  “Katie, was that you?” Mrs. Derkman asked, surprised.

  “Sure it was,” George said. “She was using ventriloquism to make the bear talk. Katie’s great at ventriloquism. She doesn’t move her lips one bit.” He turned to Manny. “Remember the time she made your backpack talk? Boy, were you freaked out!”

  Manny blushed.

  “I guess you’re not a goodie-goodie, after all,” George told Katie.

  Katie smiled. Coming from George, that was a big compliment.

  “Roar!” Katie made the bear say.

  “WAAAAHHHH!” cried the two-year-old gi
rl.

  “EEEYAAHHH!” screamed the twins.

  Mr. Weir stuck his fingers in his ears to block out the noise.

  “That’s it!” he shouted angrily. “Young lady, leave this room right now.”

  “But, Mr. Weir,” Mrs. Derkman interrupted. “I don’t want to send one of my students off on her own in the museum.”

  “She’ll be fine,” Mr. Weir assured the teacher. “There are plenty of guards around. Any one of them can help her if she’s got a problem.”

  “But . . .” Mrs. Derkman began.

  “If she doesn’t leave, I won’t continue this tour,” Mr. Weir said. “I’m tired of dealing with your students. They’re acting like children.”

  “They are children,” Mrs. Derkman reminded him.

  “Either she leaves, or I do,” Mr. Weir said angrily.

  Mrs. Derkman sighed. “Katie, there’s a library right down the hall. Instead of looking at the bears, you can do a small report on grizzlies. I’m sure the librarian can help you find information.”

  The kids all felt bad for Katie. An extra report. That really stunk!

  Katie was a little sad that she would be missing the rest of the field trip. And she felt bad about scaring the little kids. But she was also proud of herself. She’d let everyone know that she thought killing animals was wrong. And she’d proved to her friends that she wasn’t a goodie-goodie.

  A report was a small price to pay for all that.

  Chapter 6

  Katie went out into the hall. She looked for a guard who could show her where the library was. But there was no one in the hallway.

  Suddenly, she felt a small draft on the back of her neck. That was weird. There were no windows anywhere near her.

  The draft became a breeze. Then the breeze grew stronger. Katie looked for an open window. All of the windows were shut. The breeze couldn’t be coming from there, either.

  Katie gulped. This wasn’t any ordinary wind. This was the magic wind!

  Whoosh! The magic wind picked up speed. It swirled wildly around Katie. She shut her eyes tightly and tried not to cry. The wind was big, powerful, and out of control. Katie was really scared!

  But she was even more scared when the wind stopped blowing. She knew what that meant. The magic wind was gone . . .

  And so was Katie Carew.

  Chapter 7

  Katie slowly opened her eyes and looked around. She wasn’t in the hall anymore. The magic wind had blown her into the Hall of Dinosaurs. Everywhere Katie looked, she saw huge, prehistoric skeletons.

  Okay, so now she knew where she was. But she still didn’t know who she was.

  Mandy looked up at Katie. “Was the Stegosaurus a plant-eater or a meat-eater?” she asked.

  “Huh?” Katie replied.

  “What did the Stegosaurus eat?” Mandy asked again.

  “Um . . . let me think about that for a moment,” Katie answered.

  “But you’re the Director of the Education Department. You should know all about this,” Mandy said disappointedly.

  “Stegosaurus was a plant-eater,” Mrs. Derkman told her.

  Katie didn’t hear Mrs. Derkman’s answer. She was too busy thinking about what Mandy had called her. The Director of the Education Department? Katie gulped. That was Mr. Weir’s title!

  Katie looked down at her feet. Her purple sneakers were gone. In their place was a pair of worn, black loafers. She was also wearing gray slacks and a white sweat-stained, button-down shirt. There was a badge on a chain around her neck. Katie looked at the picture on the badge. It showed a skinny man with a tuft of hair on the top of his head.

  Oh, no!

  The magic wind had turned Katie into Mr. Weir!

  “What kind of dinosaur is this?” Manny asked her. He was standing beside a huge, long-necked dinosaur skeleton.

  Katie didn’t answer. She was too busy staring at the picture on her badge. Katie felt like she was going to cry. She didn’t want to be Mr. Weir. Not for one minute.

  “Whoa, look at this tooth,” Jeremy called out from the other side of the room. He pointed to a huge, pointy fossil. “It’s as sharp as a knife.”

  “I wouldn’t want to be his dentist,” Kevin said.

  “That belonged to an Allosaurus,” Mrs. Derkman told the boys. “They were meat-eaters.” She turned to Katie. “Mr. Weir, I think maybe there are too many children here for you. It will be easier for you to answer questions from just a few.”

  “Huh?” Katie murmured. She hadn’t been listening to Mrs. Derkman at all.

  “Sometimes, it’s difficult for people who aren’t teachers to handle large groups of third-graders,” Mrs. Derkman replied. “So I’m going to take some of these children into the next room. You can handle the others.”

  “No!” Katie shouted without thinking. She didn’t want to be in charge.

  “Excuse me?” Mrs. Derkman said.

  Katie sighed. She had forgotten she was supposed to be Mr. Weir. “I mean, no problem,” she corrected herself.

  Mrs. Derkman took Jeremy, Becky, Zoe, and Manny into the next room. Everyone else stayed with Katie.

  “Man, I can’t believe we got stuck with Mr. Weird,” Kevin whispered to Suzanne. “He hates kids.”

  “Would you rather be with Mrs. Derkman?” Suzanne asked him.

  Kevin sighed. “I’d rather be out on the playground,” he said.

  Suzanne turned to Katie. “Mr. Weir,” she said. “I heard the dinosaurs were all beautiful colors, like birds. Is that true?”

  Katie had no idea. So she gave a Mr. Weir kind of answer. “How should I know? I’m not old enough to have been around in the time of the dinosaurs.”

  “I was just asking,” Suzanne muttered.

  “Oh, look at this one,” Miriam pointed to a nest with a few eggs and some smaller dinosaur skeletons in it. “It’s a baby. What kind of dinosaur is this, Mr. Weir?”

  “Not a very smart one,” Katie said.

  “Huh?” Miriam asked.

  “Any dinosaur that would have children would have to be foolish,” Katie explained.

  “Oh, man, this stinks!” Kevin moaned as he read one of the signs.

  “What does?” Suzanne asked him.

  Kevin pointed to a sign next to one of the smaller dinosaurs. “It says here that none of the dinosaur skeletons in this room are real. They’re just models.”

  “The real dinosaurs are probably in museums in the big cities,” Suzanne told him. “Just like the real mummies. Isn’t that right, Mr. Weir?”

  Before Katie could answer, a loud shout came from the other side of the room.

  “Yeehah! Ride ’em, cowboy!” someone yelled.

  Katie turned around just in time to see George sitting on the back of a model of a huge meat-eating dinosaur!

  “How did you get up there?” Kevin asked, impressed.

  “I climbed up the tail,” George answered. He pointed to the trail of bones that led from the floor, straight up to the dinosaur’s head. “See, it’s like a ladder.”

  “Cool. I want to try it next,” Kevin said.

  This was getting out of hand. Katie couldn’t let the boys climb up and down on the dinosaurs. “George, get down from there right now!” she demanded.

  “No way, Mr. Weird,” George answered. “A cowboy doesn’t get down till he’s thrown from the horse. Yeehah!” He pretended to swing an imaginary lasso.

  “Please get down,” Katie tried again. “You’re going to get in trouble.”

  “That won’t scare George,” Suzanne told her. “He’s always in trouble.”

  Katie reached up and tried to grab George. But George was quicker—he leaped from the dinosaur’s back onto the floor. Then he ran off.

  “George! Get back here!” Katie ordered. But George just kept on running. Katie followed him. Suzanne, Kevin, Mandy, and Miriam ran after Katie.

  George darted into a large room. The sign on the door read “Not Open to the Public.” But George didn’t take the time to read th
e sign. He just ran right in.

  Inside the room were two dinosaur models and all sorts of tools. This was the room where the museum’s scientists put together the model dinosaurs. But the scientists weren’t in there right now.

  Unfortunately, George was.

  “George! Get out!” Katie shouted as she followed him into the room.

  Quickly, George climbed up the long tail of one of the dinosaurs. He sat on the dinosaur’s big head and stuck his tongue out.

  That made Katie mad. She started to climb up the dinosaur’s tail after George. But the fake bones couldn’t hold the weight of a grown man. And that’s just what Katie was at the moment . . .

  CRASH!

  Chapter 8

  The dinosaur’s tailbones collapsed to the floor like giant prehistoric dominoes. In seconds, Katie and George were sitting on the ground, surrounded by a pile of white plastic bones and wire.

  “Oops,” George said sheepishly.

  “Oops?” Katie cried out. “Is that all you can say? Look what you’ve done!”

  “I didn’t do it. You did,” George said. He rubbed his bottom. “And how come you only care about the dinosaur? I hurt my tail, too.”

  Katie didn’t care about George’s sore rear end. All she could think about was the pile of bones on the floor. Mr. Weir was going to be in big trouble. He might even lose his job! And it would all be Katie’s fault.

  A tear ran down Katie’s cheek.

  “Whoa, check it out,” Kevin said. “Mr. Weird is crying.”

  Katie gulped. She didn’t know a lot about being the Director of the Education Department. But she was pretty sure that someone like Mr. Weir did not cry. At least, not in front of kids. Quickly, she used the sleeve of Mr. Weir’s shirt to dry her eyes. “I am not crying,” she corrected Kevin. “My eyeballs are just sweating.”

  “I’ve never heard of sweating eyeballs,” Kevin told her.

  “I believe his eyeballs are sweating. Every other part of him is sweating,” Suzanne noted.